Pigs Have Wings
Encyclopedia
For the phrase see Pigs fly.


Pigs Have Wings is a novel
Novel
A novel is a book of long narrative in literary prose. The genre has historical roots both in the fields of the medieval and early modern romance and in the tradition of the novella. The latter supplied the present generic term in the late 18th century....

 by P. G. Wodehouse
P. G. Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, KBE was an English humorist, whose body of work includes novels, short stories, plays, poems, song lyrics, and numerous pieces of journalism. He enjoyed enormous popular success during a career that lasted more than seventy years and his many writings continue to be...

, which first appeared as a serial in Collier's Weekly
Collier's Weekly
Collier's Weekly was an American magazine founded by Peter Fenelon Collier and published from 1888 to 1957. With the passage of decades, the title was shortened to Collier's....

between August 16 and September 20, 1952. It was first published as a book in the United States
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...

 on October 16, 1952 by Doubleday & Company, New York
New York
New York is a state in the Northeastern region of the United States. It is the nation's third most populous state. New York is bordered by New Jersey and Pennsylvania to the south, and by Connecticut, Massachusetts and Vermont to the east...

, and in the United Kingdom
United Kingdom
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...

 on October 31, 1952 by Herbert Jenkins
Barrie & Jenkins
Barrie & Jenkins was a small British publishing house that was formed in 1964 from the merger of "Herbert Jenkins" and "Barrie & Rockcliffe". One of their most notable authors was P. G...

, London
London
London is the capital city of :England and the :United Kingdom, the largest metropolitan area in the United Kingdom, and the largest urban zone in the European Union by most measures. Located on the River Thames, London has been a major settlement for two millennia, its history going back to its...

. It is the seventh novel set at Blandings Castle
Blandings Castle
Blandings Castle is a recurring fictional location in the stories of British comic writer P. G. Wodehouse, being the seat of Lord Emsworth , home to many of his family, and setting for numerous tales and adventures, written between 1915 and 1975.The series of stories which take place at the castle,...

.

Plot introduction

The absent minded Lord Emsworth
Lord Emsworth
Clarence Threepwood, 9th Earl of Emsworth, or Lord Emsworth, is a recurring fictional character in the Blandings stories by British comic writer P. G. Wodehouse. He is the amiable and somewhat absent-minded head of the large Threepwood family...

 finds himself once again embroiled in fierce rivalry in the pig-rearing arena with his neighbour, the obese baronet Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe. With Emsworth's champion Empress of Blandings
Empress of Blandings
Empress of Blandings is a fictional pig, featured in many of the Blandings Castle novels and stories by P. G. Wodehouse. Owned by the doting Lord Emsworth, the Empress is an enormous black Berkshire sow, who wins many prizes in the "Fat Pigs" class at the local Shropshire Agricultural Show, and is...

 in line for a third straight victory in the local show and Parsloe bringing in a ringer, suspicions run high. Meanwhile, Blandings has its full complement of romantic entanglements. Fortunately, the ever-resourceful Gally
Galahad Threepwood
The Honourable Galahad "Gally" Threepwood is a fictional character in the Blandings stories by P. G. Wodehouse. Lord Emsworth's younger brother, a lifelong bachelor, Gally was, according to Beach, the Blandings butler, "somewhat wild as a young man"...

 is on hand to help out.

Plot summary

Lord Emsworth
Lord Emsworth
Clarence Threepwood, 9th Earl of Emsworth, or Lord Emsworth, is a recurring fictional character in the Blandings stories by British comic writer P. G. Wodehouse. He is the amiable and somewhat absent-minded head of the large Threepwood family...

, his brother Galahad
Galahad Threepwood
The Honourable Galahad "Gally" Threepwood is a fictional character in the Blandings stories by P. G. Wodehouse. Lord Emsworth's younger brother, a lifelong bachelor, Gally was, according to Beach, the Blandings butler, "somewhat wild as a young man"...

 and butler Beach
Sebastian Beach
Sebastian Beach is a fictional character in the Blandings stories by P. G. Wodehouse. He is the butler at Blandings Castle, seat of Lord Emsworth and his family, where he serves for over eighteen years.- Background and character :...

, hearing that devious neighbour Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe has done the unthinkable and brought in a new and enormous pig from Kent
Kent
Kent is a county in southeast England, and is one of the home counties. It borders East Sussex, Surrey and Greater London and has a defined boundary with Essex in the middle of the Thames Estuary. The ceremonial county boundaries of Kent include the shire county of Kent and the unitary borough of...

, are in turmoil. Galahad and Beach are desperate to secure their savings, confidently invested in a wager on the mighty Empress
Empress of Blandings
Empress of Blandings is a fictional pig, featured in many of the Blandings Castle novels and stories by P. G. Wodehouse. Owned by the doting Lord Emsworth, the Empress is an enormous black Berkshire sow, who wins many prizes in the "Fat Pigs" class at the local Shropshire Agricultural Show, and is...

, while Emsworth is as ever suspicious of his gloating neighbour.

Parsloe, meanwhile, is regretting becoming engaged to Gloria Salt, who has put him on a diet. His suspicions of Galahad lead him to put his pig man, George Cyril Wellbeloved, on a drink-ban too, a move of which Wellbeloved wholeheartedly disapproves; he also, on Connie
Lady Constance Keeble
Lady Constance Keeble is a recurring fictional character in the Blandings stories by British comic writer P. G. Wodehouse, being Lord Emsworth's most formidable sister, a strikingly handsome woman, with a fair, broad brow, and perfectly even white teeth...

's advice, orders a large quantity of "Slimmo", a slimming product, to aid his diet. Hearing about this suspicious purchase, a worried Galahad calls in Beach's niece Maudie, an old acquaintance and now proprietor of a Detective Agency, to keep an eye on things.

Penelope Donaldson heads up to London for the day, planning to meet up with her man, under cover of a dinner with an old friend of her father's. Jerry Vail, however, is forced to entertain his old flame Gloria Salt and cancels the date. Salt tells him Emsworth needs a secretary, and suggests talking pig to the Earl will get him the cash he needs to buy into a health farm and make his fortune.

Vail heads to Blandings, but Connie is suspicious, having heard his name when he called to cancel his date with Penny. Penny is furious, having been taken to Mario's by Orlo Vosper and seen Jerry with the attractive Gloria. When Jerry explains, she is suitably chastised, especially as, thinking her man had betrayed her, she had accepted Vosper's proposal of marriage.

When Wellbeloved visits Blandings to ask Gally to provide him with a drink (all the pubs in Market Blandings having been forbidden to serve him), Gally takes the opportunity to snatch Parsloe's pig, stashing it in the hut in the West Wood. Wellbeloved, finding the pig gone, nabs the Empress and puts her in the pen at Parsloe's place to cover up.

Vosper and Gloria Salt, their old love revived, run off together to be married, after Gally helps Vosper get out of being engaged to Penny, and Gloria writes to Parsloe ending their engagement. Wellbeloved spots Beach furtively heading for the shed, but his call to tell Parsloe of his discovery is intercepted by Gally, who has Beach move the pig to a nearby house, recently vacated by Gally's old friend "Fruity" Biffen.

Meanwhile Emsworth, stricken with a cold, has been smitten by Maudie (posing as Mr Donaldson's old friend Mrs Bunbury), and writes a letter to her declaring his love, which he has Vail place in her room. She, meanwhile, pays a visit to Parsloe, with whom she once had an understanding, planning to give him a piece of her mind, but all is soon cleared up and the two become engaged. Emsworth, on hearing this, sends Vail to retrieve his letter, but has misdirected him into Connie's room; on finding Vail hiding in her closet, she promptly fires him.

Finding the Emsworth Arms uncomfortable, Vail lets the cottage with the pig in it. Fearing he will give the game away, Gally dashes round, but Vail has already been visited by a Policeman and Wellbeloved. Gally removes the pig by car, but soon returns, having found the Empress in the Queen's sty. They head back to Blandings to tell Emsworth, leaving Beach, exhausted from cycling over, sleeping in the cottage. On their return, Parsloe is there, having been told by Wellbeloved that the Queen was in the kitchen and had Beach arrested for stealing his pig.

Gally explains to Parsloe that the Empress is in the kitchen, and the Queen in her sty, scuppering Parsloe. He then persuades Emsworth to invest in Vail's health farm, in gratitude for having found the pig, and Connie gives him another £500 for Beach, to prevent him suing Parsloe for wrongful arrest. Meanwhile Parsloe's butler Binstead, having been refused a refund on the Slimmo no longer needed by his master, feeds it to the pig in the sty, thinking she is still the Empress...

Main characters

  • The Earl of Emsworth
    Lord Emsworth
    Clarence Threepwood, 9th Earl of Emsworth, or Lord Emsworth, is a recurring fictional character in the Blandings stories by British comic writer P. G. Wodehouse. He is the amiable and somewhat absent-minded head of the large Threepwood family...

    , the absent-minded master of Blandings
    • The Hon. Galahad Threepwood
      Galahad Threepwood
      The Honourable Galahad "Gally" Threepwood is a fictional character in the Blandings stories by P. G. Wodehouse. Lord Emsworth's younger brother, a lifelong bachelor, Gally was, according to Beach, the Blandings butler, "somewhat wild as a young man"...

      , Emsworth's dashing brother
    • Lady Constance Keeble
      Lady Constance Keeble
      Lady Constance Keeble is a recurring fictional character in the Blandings stories by British comic writer P. G. Wodehouse, being Lord Emsworth's most formidable sister, a strikingly handsome woman, with a fair, broad brow, and perfectly even white teeth...

      , Emsworth's formidable sister
    • Empress of Blandings
      Empress of Blandings
      Empress of Blandings is a fictional pig, featured in many of the Blandings Castle novels and stories by P. G. Wodehouse. Owned by the doting Lord Emsworth, the Empress is an enormous black Berkshire sow, who wins many prizes in the "Fat Pigs" class at the local Shropshire Agricultural Show, and is...

      , Emsworth's prize pig
      • Monica Simmons, Emsworth's Amazonian
        Amazons
        The Amazons are a nation of all-female warriors in Greek mythology and Classical antiquity. Herodotus placed them in a region bordering Scythia in Sarmatia...

         pig girl
  • Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe, their neighbour, another pig-keeper
    • The Queen of Matchingham, Parsloe's new pig
      • George Cyril Wellbeloved, Parsloe's pig man, poached from Emsworth
    • Herbert Binstead, Parsloe's butler
  • Penelope Donaldson, younger sister of Emsworth's son Freddie's wife
    • Jerry Vail, the man she loves
  • Gloria Salt, a beautiful and athletic woman, engaged to Parsloe
  • Orlo, Lord Vosper, a handsome nobleman, old friend of Jerry and Gloria
  • Sebastian Beach
    Sebastian Beach
    Sebastian Beach is a fictional character in the Blandings stories by P. G. Wodehouse. He is the butler at Blandings Castle, seat of Lord Emsworth and his family, where he serves for over eighteen years.- Background and character :...

    , dignified head butler at the Castle
    • Maudie, his much-married niece

External links

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