How dare you say 'penis' to a dead person.

[On finding her soul inside Roger Cobb's body] I don't believe this. I can't even die right.

You are rude, crude, and thoroughly unattractive.

[To his girlfriend] You bought me a gravestone for my thirty-eighth birthday?!

[To his dog] Don't look at me like that. I'm not going in there as a messenger boy; I'm a trained legal advisor. No more being looked down on by people who think they're better than I am because they're rich. From now on, I'm gonna be respected... by people who think they're better than I am because they're rich.

Is everyone here bananas?

[After Edwina has called him a 'peasant'] Listen, lady. Just because my grandfather didn't rape the environment and exploit the workers doesn't make me a peasant. And it's not that he didn't want to rape the environment and exploit the workers; I'm sure he did. It's just that as a barber, he didn't have that much opportunity.

[To Edwina] You're like an energy vampire. You suck the life out of people and take the fun out of being a lawyer.

The comedy that proves that one's a crowd.