Open marriage jealousy
Encyclopedia
Open marriage jealousy refers to thoughts, feelings, and behaviors associated with romantic rivalry and jealousy
within an open marriage
.
Couples in open marriage
expose themselves to situations that can potentially provoke jealousy. Most couples in open marriages report experiencing jealousy at some point during their marriage. Couples in open marriages also experience jealousy more frequently than couples in sexually monogamous marriages. Ground rules are one way to help manage jealousy in open relationships. However, ground rules may not be sufficient. Couples in open marriages may benefit from a general understanding of jealousy and how to cope with it.
and has been observed in infants as young as 5-6 months old and older.
It is especially prevalent in open marriages. Studies have shown that around 80 percent of people in open marriages experience jealousy over their extramarital relationships.
Couples in open marriages experience as much or more jealousy than people in sexually monogamous marriages.
The prevalence of jealousy in open marriages is not surprising, since people in such relationships expose themselves to situations that can potentially provoke jealousy.
Weinberg, Williams, and Pryor found that 77 percent of bisexuals in sexually open relationships had partners who experienced jealousy at some point.
The largest group, at 46.2 percent, said their partners experienced only a little jealousy. The remaining 30.8 percent said their partners experienced moderate to extreme jealousy. While it may seem encouraging that less than one-third of partners experienced moderate to extreme jealousy, these findings may not generalize to heterosexual married couples. First, most of the bisexuals in this study were not married. Studies suggest that unmarried people who cohabit tend to reject the idea of lifelong marriage and hold more accepting attitudes toward divorce. More accepting attitudes toward ending a relationship may reduce the threat of losing the relationship to a romantic rival, and hence reduce the amount of jealousy experienced. In addition, bisexuals are often more jealous of outside partners of their own sex.
The fact that many outside partners were not the same sex as primary partners may have reduced the overall amount of jealousy experienced. Heterosexual couples in open marriages might therefore experience greater amounts of jealousy than reported in this study.
, may benefit from professional counseling. People who experience normal jealousy have at least nine strategies for coping with jealousy. The problem-solving strategies include: improving the primary relationship, interfering with the rival relationship, demanding commitment, and self-assessment. The emotion-focused strategies include: derogation of partner or rival, developing alternatives, denial/avoidance, support/catharsis, and appraisal challenge. These strategies are related to emotion regulation, conflict management, cognitive change, and ground rules for managing jealous competition.
for relationships, ground rules are seen as benefiting relationship partners just as rules of the road benefit drivers, or scripts benefit actor
s. Ground rules allow relationship partners to coordinate their behaviors so they achieve shared goals with fewer conflicts. Some ground rules describe general guidelines for conduct in different types of relationships. For example, the rules of friendships differ from the rules of marriage. Other ground rules are designed to manage romantic rivalry. Ground rules for sexually monogamous couples tend to prohibit behaviors that are viewed as acts of infidelity
. Ground rules for sexually open couples tend to prohibit behaviors that provoke jealousy. Partners may change the ground rules of their relationships over time.
Ground rules in open relationships may include, for example: that partners disclose who they have sex with; that they limit their involvement with others (to dating or physical intimacy but not relationships, for example); or that they not become involved with certain people (such as the other partner's friends or coworkers).
Jealousy
Jealousy is a second emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions...
within an open marriage
Open marriage
Open marriage typically refers to a marriage in which the partners agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without this being regarded as infidelity. There are many different styles of open marriage, with the partners having varying levels of input on their spouse's...
.
Couples in open marriage
Marriage
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found...
expose themselves to situations that can potentially provoke jealousy. Most couples in open marriages report experiencing jealousy at some point during their marriage. Couples in open marriages also experience jealousy more frequently than couples in sexually monogamous marriages. Ground rules are one way to help manage jealousy in open relationships. However, ground rules may not be sufficient. Couples in open marriages may benefit from a general understanding of jealousy and how to cope with it.
Prevalence of jealousy
Jealousy is a familiar experience in human relationships. It has been reported in every culture researchers have examined to date,and has been observed in infants as young as 5-6 months old and older.
It is especially prevalent in open marriages. Studies have shown that around 80 percent of people in open marriages experience jealousy over their extramarital relationships.
Couples in open marriages experience as much or more jealousy than people in sexually monogamous marriages.
The prevalence of jealousy in open marriages is not surprising, since people in such relationships expose themselves to situations that can potentially provoke jealousy.
Weinberg, Williams, and Pryor found that 77 percent of bisexuals in sexually open relationships had partners who experienced jealousy at some point.
The largest group, at 46.2 percent, said their partners experienced only a little jealousy. The remaining 30.8 percent said their partners experienced moderate to extreme jealousy. While it may seem encouraging that less than one-third of partners experienced moderate to extreme jealousy, these findings may not generalize to heterosexual married couples. First, most of the bisexuals in this study were not married. Studies suggest that unmarried people who cohabit tend to reject the idea of lifelong marriage and hold more accepting attitudes toward divorce. More accepting attitudes toward ending a relationship may reduce the threat of losing the relationship to a romantic rival, and hence reduce the amount of jealousy experienced. In addition, bisexuals are often more jealous of outside partners of their own sex.
"Primary partners were reportedly more jealous of an 'outside' partner of their own sex -- for example, a man whose primary partner was a woman would say she was more jealous of his relationships with other women. The logic that underlies this was that a person of the same sex as themselves could meet similar needs and thus replace them. A person of the opposite sex would not compete in this way, satisfying a different set of needs for their partner." (Weinberg, Williams, & Pryor, 1995, page 108)
The fact that many outside partners were not the same sex as primary partners may have reduced the overall amount of jealousy experienced. Heterosexual couples in open marriages might therefore experience greater amounts of jealousy than reported in this study.
Coping with jealousy
People who experience pathological jealousy, and people for whom jealousy triggers violenceViolence
Violence is the use of physical force to apply a state to others contrary to their wishes. violence, while often a stand-alone issue, is often the culmination of other kinds of conflict, e.g...
, may benefit from professional counseling. People who experience normal jealousy have at least nine strategies for coping with jealousy. The problem-solving strategies include: improving the primary relationship, interfering with the rival relationship, demanding commitment, and self-assessment. The emotion-focused strategies include: derogation of partner or rival, developing alternatives, denial/avoidance, support/catharsis, and appraisal challenge. These strategies are related to emotion regulation, conflict management, cognitive change, and ground rules for managing jealous competition.
Ground rules
Although people sometimes dislike the concept of rulesNorm (sociology)
Social norms are the accepted behaviors within a society or group. This sociological and social psychological term has been defined as "the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. These rules may be explicit or implicit...
for relationships, ground rules are seen as benefiting relationship partners just as rules of the road benefit drivers, or scripts benefit actor
Actor
An actor is a person who acts in a dramatic production and who works in film, television, theatre, or radio in that capacity...
s. Ground rules allow relationship partners to coordinate their behaviors so they achieve shared goals with fewer conflicts. Some ground rules describe general guidelines for conduct in different types of relationships. For example, the rules of friendships differ from the rules of marriage. Other ground rules are designed to manage romantic rivalry. Ground rules for sexually monogamous couples tend to prohibit behaviors that are viewed as acts of infidelity
Infidelity
In many intimate relationships in many cultures there is usually an express or implied expectation of exclusivity, especially in sexual matters. Infidelity most commonly refers to a breach of the expectation of sexual exclusivity.Infidelity can occur in relation to physical intimacy and/or...
. Ground rules for sexually open couples tend to prohibit behaviors that provoke jealousy. Partners may change the ground rules of their relationships over time.
Ground rules in open relationships may include, for example: that partners disclose who they have sex with; that they limit their involvement with others (to dating or physical intimacy but not relationships, for example); or that they not become involved with certain people (such as the other partner's friends or coworkers).
See also
- Open marriageOpen marriageOpen marriage typically refers to a marriage in which the partners agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without this being regarded as infidelity. There are many different styles of open marriage, with the partners having varying levels of input on their spouse's...
- Open marriage acceptanceOpen marriage acceptanceThe lack of social acceptance for open marriage deals with the generally negative attitudes toward open marriage in Western societies, the reasons for those negative attitudes, and the consequences of those negative attitudes for couples in open marriages....
- Open marriage incidenceOpen marriage incidenceThe incidence of open marriage is the frequency with which open marriage occurs.Several definitional issues complicate attempts to determine the incidence of open marriage. People sometimes claim to have open marriages when their spouses would not agree. Couples may agree to allow extramarital sex...
- Open marriage relationshipOpen marriage relationshipRelationship maintenance comprises behaviors partners perform in order to maintain satisfaction and extend the duration of a relationship.The impact of open marriage on relationships varies across couples, yielding positive, neutral, and negative outcomes. Some couples report high levels of marital...
- Open marriage stylesOpen marriage stylesStyles of open marriage are distinctions between open marriages based on the motives for participating in open marriage and on the nature of extramarital relationships....