Longbox Option Package
Encyclopedia
Longbox Option Package is the name of a 2006 retrospective box set by the surreal
prank call
artist known only as Longmont Potion Castle
. It was released in an extremely limited quantity by the independent label D.U. Records, and only occasionally appears for sale on eBay
.
The set contains seven audio discs and one DVD
. Included are Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, Volume 4
, Late-Eighties-Vein
, Volume 5
and Volume 7. Although most of the recordings had been previously released, the majority of them are out of print and difficult to find. Volume 7, the box set's only disc of new material, is actually composed entirely of grind/metal
music that was included on the original cassette
pressings of the albums, but had to be cut due to the time restraints of compact discs — the cassette versions were all approximately 90 minutes, whereas compact discs at the time could only hold about 75 minutes. The DVD contains the videos Live From Longmont Potion Castle, Return to Longmont Potion Castle as well as several other clips.
In 2006, the artist behind Longmont Potion Castle claimed that Longbox Option Package would be his final release under the moniker. About two years later, an album of entirely new recordings, Volume 6
, was released. Then in 2009, another album of new recordings, Volume 7, was released. It was also purported to be Longmont's last.
. The release was also hailed by comedy and music critic, Mark Prindle.
Surreal humour
Surreal humour is a form of humour based on violations of causal reasoning with events and behaviours that are logically incongruent. Constructions of surreal humour involve bizarre juxtapositions, non-sequiturs, irrational situations, and/or expressions of nonsense.The humour arises from a...
prank call
Prank call
A prank call is a form of practical joke committed over the telephone. Prank phone calls began to gain an America-wide following over a period of many years, as they gradually became a staple of the obscure and amusing cassette tapes traded amongst musicians, sound engineers, and media traders...
artist known only as Longmont Potion Castle
Longmont Potion Castle
Longmont Potion Castle is the pseudonym of an anonymous surrealist prank caller who has been active in theColorado and Los Angeles areas since1987. Details abouthis personal life are scarce and his real name is unknown to the public...
. It was released in an extremely limited quantity by the independent label D.U. Records, and only occasionally appears for sale on eBay
EBay
eBay Inc. is an American internet consumer-to-consumer corporation that manages eBay.com, an online auction and shopping website in which people and businesses buy and sell a broad variety of goods and services worldwide...
.
The set contains seven audio discs and one DVD
DVD
A DVD is an optical disc storage media format, invented and developed by Philips, Sony, Toshiba, and Panasonic in 1995. DVDs offer higher storage capacity than Compact Discs while having the same dimensions....
. Included are Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, Volume 4
Longmont Potion Castle Volume 4
Longmont Potion Castle Volume 4 is the fourth album by the surreal prank call artist known only as Longmont Potion Castle. It was released in 2001 on cassette by DU Records. It was re-released later that year on CD by Post Replica records...
, Late-Eighties-Vein
Late-Eighties-Vein
Late-Eighties-Vein is the fifth album released by surrealist prank phone caller known only as Longmont Potion Castle. It was released on October 1, 2003 by Insides Music.- Reviews :...
, Volume 5
Longmont Potion Castle Volume 5
Longmont Potion Castle Volume 5 is the sixth, and, at the time it was released, supposedly final album of prank phone calls by the anonymous artist known only as Longmont Potion Castle...
and Volume 7. Although most of the recordings had been previously released, the majority of them are out of print and difficult to find. Volume 7, the box set's only disc of new material, is actually composed entirely of grind/metal
Heavy metal music
Heavy metal is a genre of rock music that developed in the late 1960s and early 1970s, largely in the Midlands of the United Kingdom and the United States...
music that was included on the original cassette
Compact Cassette
The Compact Cassette, often referred to as audio cassette, cassette tape, cassette, or simply tape, is a magnetic tape sound recording format. It was designed originally for dictation, but improvements in fidelity led the Compact Cassette to supplant the Stereo 8-track cartridge and reel-to-reel...
pressings of the albums, but had to be cut due to the time restraints of compact discs — the cassette versions were all approximately 90 minutes, whereas compact discs at the time could only hold about 75 minutes. The DVD contains the videos Live From Longmont Potion Castle, Return to Longmont Potion Castle as well as several other clips.
In 2006, the artist behind Longmont Potion Castle claimed that Longbox Option Package would be his final release under the moniker. About two years later, an album of entirely new recordings, Volume 6
Longmont Potion Castle Volume 6
Longmont Potion Castle Volume 6 is the seventh album of prank phone calls by the anonymous artist known only as Longmont Potion Castle. It was released January 1, 2008 by DU Records....
, was released. Then in 2009, another album of new recordings, Volume 7, was released. It was also purported to be Longmont's last.
Reviews
Longbox Option Package was named as one of 2006's best releases by San Francisco's Aquarius Records. They also cited it as "Easily the best, funniest, most bizarre series of crank calls ever," and likened his demeanor and humor to that of alternative comic, Steven WrightSteven Wright
Steven Alexander Wright is an American comedian, actor and writer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes and one-liners with contrived situations.-Early life and career:Wright was born in Mount Auburn...
. The release was also hailed by comedy and music critic, Mark Prindle.
Disc 1: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 1
- "Longmont Theme 1"
- "Brian"
- "Longmont Theme 2"
- "Polynesian Showgroup"
- "Sweet's Auido:Video"
- "Lotion 1"
- "Longmont Medley 1"
- "Lotion 2"
- "Exotic Cookies 1"
- "I Don't Know, Brother 1"
- "NipperNipperNipper was a dog that served as the model for a painting titled His Late Master's Voice. This image was the basis for the dog and trumpet logo used by several audio recording and associated brands: His Master's Voice, HMV, RCA, Victor Talking Machine Company, RCA Victor and JVC.- Biography :Nipper...
1" - "Matthew: 5, Verse: 9"
- "Fists 1"
- "Bracket"
- "Les"
- "Sam GoodySam GoodySam Goody was a music and entertainment retailer in the United States and United Kingdom, and was owned and operated by Trans World Entertainment which also runs FYE, Saturday Matinee, and Suncoast Motion Picture Company. It specialized in music, video, and video game sales...
" - "Longmont Medley 2"
- "Spit Peaches"
- "Exotic Cookies 2"
- "Bugs"
- "Concrete Fountains"
- "I Don't Know, Brother 2"
- "Known French Lady"
- "Frank"
- "Valdez Chewbacca"
- "The Wall"
- "Longmont Medley 3"
- "ChaliceChaliceA chalice is a goblet or footed cup intended to hold a drink. This can also refer to;* Holy Chalice, the vessel which Jesus used at the Last Supper to serve the wine* Chalice , a type of smoking pipe...
" - "Bonecrusher Smith"
- "The Evil Dope"
- "Exotic Cookies 3"
- "Whip 1"
- "Whip 2"
- "Voice Over Guy 1"
- "Helium Lambs"
- "Whistle Blower"
- "OK, You Got It"
- "Evergreen Motel 1"
- "Longmont Medley 4"
- "I Don't Know, Brother 3"
- "Stop This Nonsense"
- "I'm In My Barn"
- "Travis"
- "Listen, Steve"
- "Candice"
- "Greetings"
- "Party Line"
- "Nipper 2"
- "Lamb"
- "Fingerhut"
- "Chisel"
- "2 Live Crew2 Live Crew2 Live Crew was a hip hop group from Miami, Florida. They caused considerable controversy with the sexual themes in their work, particularly on their 1989 album As Nasty As They Wanna Be.- Early career :...
" - "Cricus Tickets"
- "Burn"
- "Putty 1"
- "Putty 2"
- "Old Timer"
- "Dudley"
- "Do You Catch My Drift"
- "Fists 2"
- "Packaging Store 1"
- "Rap Hotline"
- "Packaging Store 2"
- "Otis"
- "Voice Mail Mysteries"
- "CleatsCleat (shoe)Cleats or studs are protrusions on the sole of a shoe, or on an external attachment to a shoe, that provide additional traction on a soft or slippery surface...
"
Disc 2: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 2
- "Emilio"
- "Steve's Meat Market 1"
- "Baked Goods"
- "Grover Loaf"
- "Queen Bee BBQ"
- "Fingerhut 2"
- "Evergreen Motel 2"
- "Lamb Patch"
- "Longmont Medley 5"
- "Cymbal"
- "Weird"
- "Voice-Over Guy 2"
- "Square Dance"
- "Rifle"
- "Longmont Theme 3"
- "Bronchial Tubes"
- "Eel Bowel 1"
- "Digital Bowels"
- "UPS Ass"
- "Trouble Hanging Up"
- "Get the Damn Law"
- "Butt Bowel"
- "Longmont Medley 6"
- "Packaging Store 3"
- "Crazy Monkey"
- "Kick My Bowel"
- "Hog Jowel"
- "Longmont Theme 4"
- "Longmont Medley 7"
- "Longmont Theme 5"
- "My Aunt & Uncle"
- "Magnetic Bowel 1"
- "Old Hog Jowel"
- "Steve's Meat Market 2"
- "Magnetic Bowel 2"
- "12-Gauge"
- "Make My Day"
- "Bowel Delivery"
- "Hernia Package"
- "Longmont Medley 8"
- "Beef House"
- "Lesbian Magnet"
- "Longmont Medley 9"
- "Who Are You"
- "Mad Man Garcia's Tires"
- "Green Beret"
- "Longmont Medley 10"
- "Wrestling Match"
- "Longmont Theme 6"
- "Call Waiting Thing"
- "Longmont Medley 11"
- "Flying Elvi"
- "Your Old Friend, Roy"
- "Kill Cockroaches"
- "Loud Sounds"
- "Give Me The Phone Number"
- "Steve's Meat Market 3"
- "Bull Riders Only"
- "Turtle Bowel"
- "Sausage Lady 1"
- "I Don't Know, Sister"
- "Siamese Peacock Bowel 1"
- "The Cult Is Deceptive"
- "Legal Pornographic Films"
- "Siamese Peacock Bowel 2"
- "Eel Bowel 2"
- "Delmo"
- "Longmont Theme 7"
Disc 3: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 3
- "Rich Karlas" (0:49)
- "AT&T vs. MCI" (2:56)
- "Freddie" (0:46)
- "Goggle by Tandy" (2:10)
- "Evergreen Motel 3" (2:24)
- "Give Me the Phone Number" (0:42)
- "Nugent" (1:33)
- "Vitamin Guy" (10:28)
- "Flutter Rate" (1:00)
- "Desmond" (1:01)
- "Nouget" (0:33)
- "Rolo" (0:58)
- "Centipedes 1" (0:49)
- "Wedge of Mackerel" (1:16)
- "Rope" (2:33)
- "GG Allin (featuring GG AllinGG AllinKevin Michael "GG" Allin was an American punk rock singer-songwriter, who performed and recorded with many groups during his career. GG Allin is perhaps best remembered for his notorious live performances, which often featured transgressive acts, including coprophagia, self-mutilation, and...
)" (0:55) - "Elephant Tonsils" (0:39)
- "Steve's Meat Market 4" (1:06)
- "Centipedes 2" (0:29)
- "Sausage Lady 1" (0:20)
- "Donut Handler" (1:09)
- "Nannette Nunanacci" (1:27)
- "Gugliotta 1" (0:53)
- "Julio Ointment" (2:28)
- "Sausage Lady 2" (2:30)
- "Gugliotta 2" (0:58)
- "Gomez" (2:49)
- "Spleen" (1:40)
- "Coaxial Flutter" (1:41)
- "Red Miller" (0:36)
- "Lesbian Music" (1:10)
- "Putty 1" (0:38)
- "Putty Theme" (0:59)
- "Lion's Lair" (0:45)
- "Wizard of Wor" (2:56)
- "Underbakke & Associates" (2:52)
- "Puffy Twinkie" (2:09)
- "Student in Guitar Lesson" (1:41)
- "Cymbal" (0:58)
- "Scrotum Sausage" (0:15)
- "Putty 2" (1:13)
- "Sausage Lady 3" (0:27)
- "Laverne Beasley Lithograph" (0:31)
- "Ethel's House of Soul" (0:21)
- "Rusty Savage" (0:28)
- "Buddy Gripple" (1:08)
- "Zingers" (0:32)
- "Shut Up" (0:29)
- "Brother Marvin" (1:46)
- "Embroidered Nipper" (0:24)
- "Grandpa Tweedles" (1:02)
- "Stick Insect" (0:14)
- "Bonecrusher Smith" (0:19)
- "DeFranco's Boots" (0:55)
- "Nectarines" (2:04)
Disc 4: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 4
- "TheexcitementoftandyTandy CorporationTandy Corporation was a family-owned leather goods company based in Fort Worth, Texas. Tandy was founded in 1919 as a leather supply store, and acquired RadioShack in 1963. The Tandy name was dropped in May 2000, when RadioShack Corporation was made the official name.-History:Tandy began in 1919...
" - "Retrovaporizednebulizer"
- "Talkin'whip"
- "Chess"
- "Gettingnice"
- "Nohaircuts"
- "Bert"
- "Pleatedapproach"
- "Nash"
- "Montoyan/artesianconnection"
- "Bud"
- "Tosirwithmillipedes"
- "Voltorforglick"
- "Coalition#1"
- "Coalition#2"
- "Snowcamps"
- "Livelambfromlebanon#1"
- "Bruschotti"
- "Livelambfromlebanon#2"
- "Goodlord"
- "Themeaningoftheword"
- "Haroldsacks"
- "Vendingmachines"
- "Antonio"
- "Warble"
- "Nobueno"
- "Owl#1"
- "Owl#2"
- "Mumraandape"
- "Crashout"
- "Darwiniansociety"
- "Thepolishstallion"
- "Abraham"
- "Abrahamdropshismask"
- "Collage#1"
- "Buzzoff"
- "Les"
- "Nowhiring"
- "Collage#2"
- "Collage#3"
- "Falconandwhip"
- "Killthewhip"
- "Atthefeetofthemaster"
- "Noteethtobust"
- "Sonofabitch"
- "Extralargesausages"
- "Dicktrickle"
- "Christianconnections"
- "Asimpleinquiry"
- "Metalinterlude#5"
- "Lipitor"
- "Accidentaldeathinsurance"
- "Y2K"
- "Scrimmage"
- "Squidonmyside"
- "Octopus"
- "Answerteam"
- "Rex"
- "Leprechanjulius"
- "BatfishBatfishBatfish is a name given to several fishes:* The California batfish or sting ray .* Some members of the family Ephippidae.* Some members of the family Ogcocephalidae, including the Pancake batfish.and:...
" - "Wallace"
- "Mortuaryvs.officemaxOfficeMaxOfficeMax , is an American office supplies retailer that was founded in 1988 and is headquartered in Naperville, Illinois.-History:On April 1, 1988, OfficeMax was founded in Cleveland, Ohio, by Bob Hurwitz and Michael Feuer. Hurwitz served as executive chairman and chief executive officer and Feuer...
" - "Waxtraxvs.chic-fil-a"
- "Albertsonsvs.albertsonsAlbertsons LLCAlbertsons LLC is a North American grocery company based in Boise, Idaho, with over 240 supermarkets located in Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas, and Florida under the Albertson's and Super Saver Foods banners...
" - "Tommywong'svs.tonyrigatoni's"
- "Sunshinevs.julius"
- "Blockbustervs.blockbuster"
- "Wallunitsvs.wafflehouseWaffle HouseWaffle House is a restaurant chain with over 1600 locations found in 25 states in the United States. Most of the locations are in the Southern United States, where the chain remains a regional cultural icon...
"
Disc 5: Late-Eighties-Vein
- "Stop Playing Harmonica" (1:21)
- "Goat" (3:37)
- "Levi" (0:50)
- "Peacock" (6:26)
- "Sam Goody" (3:43)
- "Beef House" (4:30)
- "Rec Center" (0:44)
- "Orange Julius" #418 (1:01)
- "Dateline" (1:06)
- "Baseball Game Beer Guy (3:42)
- "Sherbert" (0:47)
- "Collage #0" (2:07)
- "Orange Julius" #419 (0:27)
- "Mallards" (1:39)
- "Free Manure" (1:19)
- "Owls" (1:58)
- "Snow Flake Cleaners" (0:36)
- "Virtual Balboa" (1:06)
- "Selena" (1:31)
- "Gymnastic Lady" (1:18)
- "Orange Julius #420" (0:35)
- "Metal Interlude (Missing)" (2:15)
- "Limes"/"Super Nintendo" (hidden track) (29:17)
Disc 6: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 5
- "Loud Tones"
- "UPS Freakout 1"
- "Spencer Zebra"
- "Aqualamb"
- "Helium Socket"
- "Hop Sing"
- "Chowder Julius"
- "Election BluesUnited States presidential election, 2004The United States presidential election of 2004 was the United States' 55th quadrennial presidential election. It was held on Tuesday, November 2, 2004. Republican Party candidate and incumbent President George W. Bush defeated Democratic Party candidate John Kerry, the then-junior U.S. Senator...
" - "Boats"
- "Fennel Cartwright"
- "Neighborhood Bar"
- "Chinese Bowling Balls"
- "Delmo"
- "Chimp Giraffe Loop"
- "Internal Metalude"
- "Wovenloaf"
- "Pill Salesman"
- "Sausage Lady"
- "Twist & Shout"
- "Tommy Vee"
- "Squid Sandwich"
- "UPS Freakout 2"
- "Kemosabe"
- "3-Way Mayhem"
- "All Caps"
Disc 7: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 7
- "Untitled 1 (2006)" (2:43)
- "Untitled 2 (2006)" (4:23)
- "Internal Metalude" (3:05)
- "Metal Interlude #0" (2:28)
- "Metal Interlude #0.5" (2:29)
- "Metal Interlude (Missing)" (3:14)
- "Metal Interlude 5" (2:21)
- "Theme From Live From LPC" (1:10)
- "Untitled 1 (LPC3)" (2:19)
- "Untitled 2 (LPC3)" (4:50)