Jack Dwyer
Overview
 
John Joseph Dwyer was an American football
American football
American football is a sport played between two teams of eleven with the objective of scoring points by advancing the ball into the opposing team's end zone. Known in the United States simply as football, it may also be referred to informally as gridiron football. The ball can be advanced by...

 defensive back
Defensive back
In American football and Canadian football, defensive backs are the players on the defensive team who take positions somewhat back from the line of scrimmage; they are distinguished from the defensive line players and linebackers, who take positions directly behind or close to the line of...

 in the National Football League
National Football League
The National Football League is the highest level of professional American football in the United States, and is considered the top professional American football league in the world. It was formed by eleven teams in 1920 as the American Professional Football Association, with the league changing...

 for the Washington Redskins
Washington Redskins
The Washington Redskins are a professional American football team and members of the East Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League . The team plays at FedExField in Landover, Maryland, while its headquarters and training facility are at Redskin Park in Ashburn,...

 and the Los Angeles Rams
St. Louis Rams
The St. Louis Rams are a professional American football team based in St. Louis, Missouri. They are currently members of the West Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League . The Rams have won three NFL Championships .The Rams began playing in 1936 in Cleveland,...

. He played college football
College football
College football refers to American football played by teams of student athletes fielded by American universities, colleges, and military academies, or Canadian football played by teams of student athletes fielded by Canadian universities...

 at Loyola Marymount University
Loyola Marymount University
Loyola Marymount University is a comprehensive co-educational private Roman Catholic university in the Jesuit and Marymount traditions located in Los Angeles, California, United States...

 and was drafted
NFL Draft
The National Football League Draft is an annual event in which the National Football League teams select eligible college football players and it is their most common source of player recruitment. The basic design of the draft is each team is given a position in the drafting order in reverse order...

 in the fifth round of the 1951 NFL Draft
1951 NFL Draft
The 1951 National Football League Draft was held on January 18–January 19, 1951. The Baltimore Colts folded after the 1950 season. The NFL placed their players in the 1951 NFL draft.-Player selections:-Round one:...

 by the Philadelphia Eagles
Philadelphia Eagles
The Philadelphia Eagles are a professional American football team based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. They are members of the East Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...

.
Quotations

"We could try phasers at twenty paces..."

to Splink: "Okay, even alternate versions of you are weird!"

"And they have the nerve to say I'm the weird one."

to the author-breaking the fourth wall: "We need a deus ex machina|deus ex machina, and you're deus!"

"We have a saying about our women, 'can't live with 'em, can't sacrifice them to giant, primitive alien beast gods!'"

"Why do I have the feeling this is deteriorating into the climax of Blazing Saddles?" - Ralph Zinobop (Melonpool crossover)

 
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