Fag hag
Encyclopedia
Fag hag is a gay slang
phrase referring to a woman who either associates mostly or exclusively with gay
and bisexual men, or has gay and bisexual men as close friends. The phrase originated in gay male culture in the United States and was historically an insult. Some women who associate with gay men object to being called fag hags, while others embrace the term. The male counterpart, for men who have similar interpersonal relationships with gay and bisexual men is fag stag
, part of hag-ism, the identification of a person with a group—usually united in terms of sexuality
, gender identity
, or shared sex—of which he or she is not officially a member. However, it must be stated that some, if not many "fag stag" "relationships" are merely the result of straight men who go to gay bars with gay men in order to "pick up" straight women, as the gay bar scene is considered to be a safe one for straight women, hence, their usual social defenses would be in a far more relaxed state than they would be if the meeting occurred in a straight singles bar. For men who have many lesbian
friends the slang terms Dutch Boy, lesbro or dyke tyke
apply.
People who associate with lesbian, gay and bisexual people may be called fruit flies regardless of their sex.
.
In interviews with gay men and self-described fag hags, the most common theme is safety. A rich relationship can develop between a straight woman and a gay man without sexual tension. The fag hag relationship allows the participants to separate intimacy and sexuality.
In the case of friendships between lesbians and gay men, the term dyke diva describes the gay man in the relationship. A straight man of platonic affinity with gay men is a fag stag
; again, the usage is rare in mainstream sexual culture. In the United Kingdom, a straight man who enjoys the company of lesbians is known as a dikey likey.
friend, Montgomery. The character Ralph joked that Doris should audition for the title role in I was a Teen-Age Fag Hag, a mythical movie in the story's context. Comedian Margaret Cho
has written and regularly talks in her stand-up routines about being a fag hag. In an episode of the UK TV sitcom Gimme Gimme Gimme, Tom refers to Linda as a fag hag.
The first annual Miss Fag Hag Pageant
took place in New York City
on May 17, 2009 at Comix comedy club
with judges Caroline Rhea
, Michael Musto
, Hedda Lettuce
and Katina Corrao. Heather Shields took the first prize. The 18th century woman of letters Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
is considered an early representation of the fag hag.
The Seminal Rap song "The Message" by Grandmaster Flash
uses the term.
Gay slang
LGBT slang, LGBT speak or gay slang is a set of slang used predominantly among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. It has been used in various languages, including English and Japanese since the early 1900s as a means by members of the LGBT community as a group to self-advertise as a...
phrase referring to a woman who either associates mostly or exclusively with gay
Gay
Gay is a word that refers to a homosexual person, especially a homosexual male. For homosexual women the specific term is "lesbian"....
and bisexual men, or has gay and bisexual men as close friends. The phrase originated in gay male culture in the United States and was historically an insult. Some women who associate with gay men object to being called fag hags, while others embrace the term. The male counterpart, for men who have similar interpersonal relationships with gay and bisexual men is fag stag
Fag stag
Fag stag or Fruit Fly, are slang terms for a heterosexual man who either enjoys the company of, or simply has numerous friends that are gay or bisexual men. The latter term comes from the derogatory term from homosexuals...
, part of hag-ism, the identification of a person with a group—usually united in terms of sexuality
Human sexuality
Human sexuality is the awareness of gender differences, and the capacity to have erotic experiences and responses. Human sexuality can also be described as the way someone is sexually attracted to another person whether it is to opposite sexes , to the same sex , to either sexes , or not being...
, gender identity
Gender identity
A gender identity is the way in which an individual self-identifies with a gender category, for example, as being either a man or a woman, or in some cases being neither, which can be distinct from biological sex. Basic gender identity is usually formed by age three and is extremely difficult to...
, or shared sex—of which he or she is not officially a member. However, it must be stated that some, if not many "fag stag" "relationships" are merely the result of straight men who go to gay bars with gay men in order to "pick up" straight women, as the gay bar scene is considered to be a safe one for straight women, hence, their usual social defenses would be in a far more relaxed state than they would be if the meeting occurred in a straight singles bar. For men who have many lesbian
Lesbian
Lesbian is a term most widely used in the English language to describe sexual and romantic desire between females. The word may be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are characterized by others as having the primary attribute of female homosexuality, or as an...
friends the slang terms Dutch Boy, lesbro or dyke tyke
Dyke tyke
Dyke tyke is a gay slang phrase referring to a man who either associates mostly or exclusively with lesbian , bisexual or transgendered women or has gay women friends...
apply.
People who associate with lesbian, gay and bisexual people may be called fruit flies regardless of their sex.
Usage
Fag hags are frequently stereotyped as outgoing women who are seeking a substitute for heterosexual relationships, or who are secretly (or openly) sexually attracted to gay men. In fact, many women who identify as fag hags are already in romantic relationships, either with straight men or with women but appreciate the alternative experience of socializing with gay men and may prefer the gay culture to the straight counterpart. In contrast, women with open sexual interest in gay (or bisexual) men call themselves girlfagsGirlfags and guydykes
Girlfag and guydyke are terms that developed in queer and homosexual subcultures. Girlfag refers to a biologically female individual who feels a strong romantic or erotic attraction towards gay or bisexual men, or their social environment...
.
In interviews with gay men and self-described fag hags, the most common theme is safety. A rich relationship can develop between a straight woman and a gay man without sexual tension. The fag hag relationship allows the participants to separate intimacy and sexuality.
Related terms
American fag hag synonyms include fruit fly, homo honey, fruit loop, Goldilocks, flame dame, fairy princess, and fairy godmother. Men of any sexual orientation who have many lesbian friends are called dutch boys or lesbros in the United States.In the case of friendships between lesbians and gay men, the term dyke diva describes the gay man in the relationship. A straight man of platonic affinity with gay men is a fag stag
Fag stag
Fag stag or Fruit Fly, are slang terms for a heterosexual man who either enjoys the company of, or simply has numerous friends that are gay or bisexual men. The latter term comes from the derogatory term from homosexuals...
; again, the usage is rare in mainstream sexual culture. In the United Kingdom, a straight man who enjoys the company of lesbians is known as a dikey likey.
In popular culture
The term has often been used in entertainment. In the film Fame (1980), writer Christopher Gore used the term fag hag in describing the character Doris in her relationship with her gayGay
Gay is a word that refers to a homosexual person, especially a homosexual male. For homosexual women the specific term is "lesbian"....
friend, Montgomery. The character Ralph joked that Doris should audition for the title role in I was a Teen-Age Fag Hag, a mythical movie in the story's context. Comedian Margaret Cho
Margaret Cho
Margaret Cho is an American comedian, fashion designer, actress, author, and recording artist. Cho is best known for her stand-up routines, through which she critiques social and political problems, especially those pertaining to race and sexuality. She has also directed and appeared in music...
has written and regularly talks in her stand-up routines about being a fag hag. In an episode of the UK TV sitcom Gimme Gimme Gimme, Tom refers to Linda as a fag hag.
The first annual Miss Fag Hag Pageant
Miss Fag Hag Pageant
The Miss Fag Hag Pageant is a pageant contest for fag hags, referring to women who either associates mostly or exclusively with gay and bisexual men, or have gay and bisexual men as close friends.-Origin:...
took place in New York City
New York City
New York is the most populous city in the United States and the center of the New York Metropolitan Area, one of the most populous metropolitan areas in the world. New York exerts a significant impact upon global commerce, finance, media, art, fashion, research, technology, education, and...
on May 17, 2009 at Comix comedy club
Comix comedy club
Opened in September 2006 by business partners Harlan Halper and Michael Palitz, Comix was a venue for stand-up comedy located in The Meatpacking District in New York City on 14th Street and 9th Avenue...
with judges Caroline Rhea
Caroline Rhea
Caroline Gilchrist Rhea is a Canadian stand-up comedian and actress who was the original host of the reality television show The Biggest Loser on NBC until she was replaced by Alison Sweeney after the end of the third season...
, Michael Musto
Michael Musto
Michael Musto is an American columnist for the The Village Voice, where he writes La Dolce Musto. Musto was born in Brooklyn to an Italian American family. He attended Columbia University graduating in 1976. During his studies, he was a theater critic for the Columbia Spectator...
, Hedda Lettuce
Hedda Lettuce
Hedda Lettuce is an American drag queen comedian and singer who lives and works in New York. A legitimate New York actor, Steven Polito, debuted his character Hedda Lettuce in 1991 on the Manhattan Cable TV show The Brenda and Glennda Show. He is one of few drag queens who actually sings live using...
and Katina Corrao. Heather Shields took the first prize. The 18th century woman of letters Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
The Lady Mary Wortley Montagu was an English aristocrat and writer. Montagu is today chiefly remembered for her letters, particularly her letters from Turkey, as wife to the British ambassador, which have been described by Billie Melman as “the very first example of a secular work by a woman about...
is considered an early representation of the fag hag.
The Seminal Rap song "The Message" by Grandmaster Flash
Grandmaster Flash
Joseph Saddler better known as King Grandmaster Flash, is an American hip hop musician and DJ; one of the pioneers of hip-hop DJing, cutting, and mixing....
uses the term.