Hey, nice bulbs, Emily. Oh, and I don't mean that metaphorically.

(trying to act intelligent in front of his "girlfriend"): "Like... we see a picture of this young lady. But to the lady, are we just a picture of us? Did you ever think about that?"

You know what i heard when i first met you? - No. - Beeew, Beeew, Beeew, Beeew. - What are you doing? - That's an ambulance, come and take me away, 'cos the sight of you stopped my heart.

(making a toast) Ok, i just wanna say What's up? Grandma, grandpa... and ... to the other two old people...What's up? ... yeah, you two.

Are you seeing planes? Is your name Tattoo? Because swear to God, you're living on Fantasy Island. - man, that was a sweet show - Yeah, it was a sweet show.

Hi. You've reached Doug Butabi. I'm not here right now because I'm too busy outside living it up, unlike my pussy-whipped brother who's too busy throwing his life away for Emily. Beep.

So... you guys wanna make out or what?

Hey, Hey, is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

Man, I owe you [pulls out an energy bar called "Big Time"] BIG TIME! For bringing me here!

You know, just because you and your brother are having problems, doesn't mean you have to refer to my intellectual capacity in a dimunitive manner.