Live at the Purple Onion (2007)

• If you love Barry Manilow, you're gonna love the Insane Clown Posse. Love them. They're exactly... well, they're not exactly alike, but they're a little bit alike.

• Fucking boring! Seriously! Goddammit, this is a DVD! I need dinosaurs, thunder, race wars, something! Dammit, I gotta sell this motherfucker!

• I want to combine the NAACP with Mothers Against Drunk Driving. It's called Mothers Against the Advancement of Colored People.

• I failed kindergarden because I couldn't spell my last name.

• When I was a kid, I had dyslexia. I would write about it in my "dairy."

• Whenever I'm with a woman I whisper softly into her ear, "Touch my vagina," and she's like, "What!" and I'm like, "That's what you're supposed to say."

• Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"

• At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?

• I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.

• My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.

• I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

• I'm going to do all new, fresh material...you guys been keeping up with this O.J. thing?

• I call my balls the bush twins.

• I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.