Amazing Fantasy #15

Naration: With great power, there must also come great responsibility.

Issue 1

[Peter Parker is taking off his Spiderman suit]

Peter Parker: Uncle Ben is dead! And all because I was too late to save him. My Spider-man costume! I wish there were no such thing!

Peter Parker: Aunt May, there's only one thing to do! I've got to quit school and get a job!

Aunt May: No, Peter, You mustn't! Your uncle always dreamed of you being a scientist some day! You must continue your studies!

[Spiderman wants to cash his check at the bank.]

Spideman: I'd like to cash this check!

Banker: I'll have to see some identification!

Spiderman: What about my costume?

Banker: Don't be silly! Anyone can wear a costume! Do you have a Social Security card or a driver license in the name of Spider-man??

Spiderman: N-No -- I don't!

[While writing his first anti-Spiderman article]

J. Jonah Jameson: When I'm thru with this article, Spider-man will be run out of town!

[At a lecture]

J. Jonah Jameson: The youth of this nation must learn to respect real heroes -- men such as my son, John Jameson, the test pilot! Not selfish freaks such as Spider-man -- a masked menace who refuses to even let us know his true identity!

[After reading Jameson's article]

Peter Parker: I don't get it! How do other superhuman guys, like the Fantastic Four and the Ant Man, get away with it? Nobody bothers them! And they always seem to make enough dough.

Newspaper stand owner: Bah! I don't even believe that there is a Spider-man! It's all a publicity stunt!

Issue 3

[Spider-Man first meets Dr. Octopus]

Spider-Man: Hold it, Doc! How about pickin' on someone who can fight you back?

Dr. Octopus: Spider-man!

Spider-Man: Well, I sure ain't Albert Schweitzer!

Dr. Octopus: You dare speak flippantly to me! You fool! When I'm finished with you, You'll sing a different tune!

Spider-Man: I wish there was a superheroes' union somewhere---'cause if there was, I'd make sure a fella gets time-and-a-half for tackling a joker with four metal arms!

Peter Parker: It's not that I don't wanna do my bit against air pollution, like anyone else--but first I've gotta rid the city of Doc Ock--'cause in my book, he's a one-man ecology crisis on the hoof.

Spider-Man: Like they always say--the show must go on! Altho' I never figured out why!

Issue 4

[Peter's classmates are watching Spiderman fight the Sandman in the school]

Kid: Boy! Did you see that!?!

Liz Allan: I wonder where Peter went? He isn't here!

Flash Thompson: Who, that coward? He's probably hidin' with his head under a desk somewhere!

Issue 7

Vulture: I tell you what... I'll set the price myself! So open your safe and empty it out for me!

J. Jonah Jameson: No! No! You can't rob my payroll! You mustn't! It's all I've got! It would put me out of business!

Vulture: Shut up! I'm not interested in your troubles! Now do as I say... or else! And stop blubbering like a coward!

J. Jonah Jameson: Have you no conscience? No feelings? Y-You're as bad as Spider-man!

Peter Parker [thoughts]: Bite your tongue, J.J.!

J. Jonah Jameson: I've spent years building up this business... It means everything to me! You can't...

Vulture: Oh, can't I?? The Vulture can do anything... as you're about to learn!!

Issue 12

[A small crowd watches Dr Octopus unmask Spiderman]

Dr. Octopus: I should have known!! It isn't Spider-man! It's that weakling brat, Peter Parker!

Betty Brant: Peter!! He did it for me!! Oh, he might have been killed!

J. Jonah Jameson: The fool! I ordered him to take pictures of Octopus -- not try a be hero!

Police Officer: You mean you knew Octopus was here??

Issue 13

[Mysterio recalls studying Spiderman]

Mysterio: Whatever Spider-man does naturally, I'll find a way to do it artificially!

Issue 14

Green Goblin: Spider-Man will soon arrive, and my diabolical plan can begin! But little does he suspect that this will be a one-way trip - with no return!

Issue 29

[Spiderman arrives in time to save Jameson from the Scorpion]

J. Jonah Jameson: Get him, don't take any chances! Let him have it!

Spiderman: At ease, prune-face! When I need a cheerleader I'll let you know! As for you, Scorpy, we've just got to rid you of your deep-rooted hostility complex!

Scorpion: Go ahead, loud mouth, have your fun while you can...! (knocks Spidey back with his tail) ... Because from here on in you're not gonna feel like laughin' any more!

Spiderman: UHHHFFFF!

Issue 30

[Peter runs into Flash Thompson while getting set for collage]

Peter Parker: Well, Well! If it isn't Fearless Flash Thompson!

Flash Thompson: Drop Dead!

Harry Osborn: Heard a lot about you, Flash! I'm Harry Osborn, and this little lady is the ex-beauty queen of Standard High, as you couldn't tell!

Gwen Stacy: The little lady has a name, Flash! It's Gwen Stacy and I've followed your football career all though high school!

Flash Thompson: You should have let me know, Gwen! I'd have given you all the facts in person!

Issue 39

[Norman Osborn drop his son Harry off on campus]

Harry Osborn: Well, here's where I get out! Thanks for the lift, Dad!

Norman Osborn: Uh Huh...

Harry Osborn: Is anything wrong Dad? You hardly said a word all the way from the house to here!

Norman Osborn: There's nothing wrong! Did you want me to give you a lift, or deliver a speech on the way?!!

Harry Osborn: I didn't mean to get you angry! I was just wondering --

Norman Osborn: Well, don't wonder! It costs me a fortune to keep you in college -- so try thinking about your studies once in a while!

[The Green Goblin has an unmasked Spiderman captured and is removing his own mask]

Green Goblin: Take a look, Parker -- a good, long look. It's the last face Spider-Man will ever see --it's the real face of the Green Goblin. The face of Norman Osborn!

Peter Parker: Those features!! That name! Of course -- you're related to my own classmate! You're Harry Osborn's father!

Issue 41

[Spider dodges a charge from the Rhino, who runs into a telephone booth]

Spiderman: Hey, Rhiny -- wouldn't it have been easier just to drop a dime in the slot?

Rhino: Mock me will you? You'll live to regret that!

Issue 42

[First words to Peter Parker]

Mary Jane Watson: Face it, tiger...you just hit the jackpot!

Issue 42

Spiderman: Okay, Liz... This is the end of the line!!

Lizard: Spider-man! I hoped you'd show up!

Issue 46

[Harry shows Peter their new room]

Harry Osborn: Welcome to the pad, lad! It's not the Taj Mahal... but it's better than a tent!

Peter Parker: You mean... All this is ours?? It's out of sight, Harr -- ! -- and in living color, too!

Issue 54

[Spiderman crashes in on Dr. Octopus]

Dr. Octopus: SPIDER-MAN!

Spiderman: You know it, Mister!

Doctor Octopus: Unfortunely, your courage in returning here is far greater than your wisdom! You should have learned by now that you're no match for the power of my tentacles!

Issue 73

[Dr. Connors is being held captive by Silvemane]

Dr. Curt Connors: Look... I'm just a dime-a-dozen research scientist from the Everglades! I don't know what you're after, but you grabbed yourself the wrong man!

Silvermane: You underestimate yourself, Doctor! You are just the man we need!

Dr. Curt Connors: But you can't keep me here! It... It isn't safe!

Silvermane: Is that a fact? And just why isn't it safe, Connors?

Dr. Curt Connors: I... can't answer that!!

Issue 91

Peter Parker: [thoughts] It's like watching an old Humphrey Bogart movie! Only this is for real!

Spider-Man: [thoughts] Well, well -- the old abandoned warehouse routine! They must have been brought up on grade-B movies!

Issue 96

Harry Osborn: Anyway, My Dad's job offer is still open to you, Pete. You're a jerk not to take it. In fact, I know what I'm gonna do --

Peter Paker: Hey, hold it, Harr! Take it easy now.

Harry Osborn: Uh uh! My mind's made up! I'm telling him you said yes. So go see 'im, roomate. You've nothing to lose.

Norman Osborn (to Peter Parker): It's strange -- you always seem to remind me of someone -- but, I don't know who. Oh well -- it's probably my imagination.

Issue 97

Spiderman: Goblin -- listen to me! We have to talk. You're sick! I -- want to help you.

Green Goblin: Fine! I want to help you to... To an early grave!

Issue 102

[The Lizard and Morbius are standing over Spiderman. The Lizard lunges for Morbius]

Lizard: Spider-man is mine to kill! MINE!

Spiderman: No need to fight over me fellas. There's plenty to go around.

Issue 121

[The Green Goblin has Gwen Stacy on the George Washington Bridge and is calling out to Spiderman, explaining what he wants]

Green Goblin: It's quite simple, web-sinner... Your presence in this world has been a source of constant agony to me. I wish you to leave it -- permanently. Or else.. Gwen Stacy dies!

[Spiderman is holding the dead Gwen Stacy and shouting at the Green Goblin]

Spiderman: Wrong, Goblin! YOU'RE THE CREEP WHO'S GOING TO PAY! I'm going to get you, Goblin! I'm going to destory you slowly -- and when you start begging for me to end it -- I'm going to remind you of one thing-- YOU KILLED THE WOMAN I LOVE -- AND FOR THAT, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!

Issue 146

[Spiderman makes the Scorpion apologize to Aunt May for frightening her]

Scorpion: -- Apologize for frightening you Mrs. Parker. It was a rotten thing to do. I'm sorry, and I want to forget I ever saw you, any of you, and I hope I never see you again!

Peter Parker: It may not be exactly what Spider-man had in mind, but I guess it'll do. Right, Aunt May?

Aunt May: One moment Peter, I've something to say to this gentleman. (to Scorpion) You should be ashamed of yourself, young man. I haven't a very high opinion of Spider-man... but at least he has manners.

Scorpion: Why you old --

Aunt May: Watch your tongue or I'll slap your face!

Issue 149

[Spiderman wakes up from the Jackal's attack and finds another Spiderman]

Spiderman 1: Huh? Who the heck are you, fella -- and where's the Jackal?

Spiderman 2: Huh? Who the heck are you, fella -- and where's the Jackal?

Spiderman 1: Hold it right there... I don't know what the gag is, but I'm not laughing!

Spiderman 2: Neither am I, handsome. Either you tell me where the Jackal is hiding, and what he's done with Gwen and Ned Leeds, or I'll --

Issue 212

Hydro-man (to a woman in the shower): You... you definitely ain't Spider-man!

Joe Robertson: Jonah the nuts struck again... (sees Peter and Debra Whitman) on the Upper West Side?

J. Jonah Jameson: Which nut, Robbie? New York's got plenty of them!

Issue 224

[A bank-robber finds out Spider-Man has webbed his get-away car.]

Spider-Man: Good morning, sir! Fill 'er up? Should I check under the hood?

Robber: Ah...bu...bu...

Spider-Man: Oh, I see you are a hood.

Robber: Yeeoow! It's Spider-Man! Run for it!

Spider-Man: Was it something I said?

Issue 225

Foolkiller: I'd all but given up my crusade to rid the world of fools…there are, I found, just too many!

[Peter Parker just saw a man crawling up a wall.]

Peter Parker: [thoughts] The local wall-crawlers union has very strict entrance requirements! Heck, I had to be bitten by a radioactive spider to join!

Issue 226

Narration: Contrary to popular belief, there are some advantages to living in New York City!

Issue 238

Hobgoblin: Well, Norman Osborn may have died, but his legacy -- his power -- will live on! And this time, it shall be shaped by a man who knows how to use power! The Green Goblin is no more! But in his place now stands -- the Hobgoblin!

Issue 278

Hobgoblin: Almost. What a pity. If he had died, I could have moved about with a lot of freedom... Until people realized I was still at large.

Rose: Interesting, and tell me... What made you light upon Thompson as your catspaw in the first place?

Hobgoblin: Why Thompson? Why not? (flies off with laughter)

Issue 292

Mary Jane Watson: So maybe it's time to stop running. Maybe there's nothing wrong with making someone else happy -- as long as that person makes you happy.

Peter Parker: You mean...?

Mary Jane Watson: I mean "yes," Peter, Yes... I'll marry you!

Issue 299

Venom: Hi, Honey...

Mary Jane Watson-Parker: Oh, God.

Venom: ...I'm home!

Issue 300

[First words to Spiderman]

Venom: Welcome to my neighborhood Spider-man! Would you be my... could you be my... neighbor?

Issue 317

[Peter and Aunt May find Eddie brock on the porch]

Eddie Brock: Hi, I'm Eddie Brock. Can Peter come out and play?

Issue 344

Cletus Kasady: Geez, Brock, give it a rest! Seein' you do chin-ups is about as excitin' as watchin' glaciers form!

Eddie Brock: My body is caged. (one hundered twenty-three) But my spirit is free. (one hundered twenty-four) And I must be in peak condition-- (one hundered twenty-five) -- if I'm to avenge the death of my other.

Cletus Kasady: Forget that Venom spook! All ya need is will! The courage to do things other folks are scared to!

Eddie Brock: Like slaughtering innocent families, Cletus? *sigh* Sometimes I wish I didn't have to live with a foul serial killer like you.

Cletus Kasady: Keep gripin' pal, an' ya won't be!

Issue 362

Carnage: I mean, order's just a lie, right? Built on fantasies... like law, an' morals! I remember when I first realized that! How without those illusions, I could do anything! Up to an' includin' murder! Man, I never felt so free! An' once I help the rest o' this planet catch on... oh wow. Blood an' glory!

Issue 365

Hoodlum #1: Lookit that suit. Guy's loaded. What's he doin' in this neighbourhood?

Hoodlum #2: I say we roll fer everything he's got.

Spider-Man: I say we let him go.

(Gang members turn around, shocked that Spider-Man has managed to sneak in behind them)

Spider-Man: What, don't I get a say in how this gang operates?

Issue 369

Spider-Man (faced with a new adversary): I'm sorry, you think defeating me is that simple? Have you seen my resumé? I've fought mutants, gods, aliens, technomalogical wackjobs, street hoods... Hell, I fought my own costume. You think its that simple? Bring it on.

Issue 375

Venom: You usually run from us.

Spiderman: Not this time Brock! But if you've harmed my mom and dad, you'll wish I had run!

Venom: How silly. We don't want to hurt them; We want to protect them from you!

Spiderman: What?!

Issue 380

[Venom confronts Carnage]

Venom: Monstrosity! We'll take a gallon of your blood for every innocent drop you've spilled!

Carnage: Whoa! "Pop"! I didn't expect to see you here! But, hey stick around! I've got a couple o' friends I'd like ya to meet...

Issue 400

Green Goblin: You can't stop me, Spider-Man. With your stupid banter and damned stubborn nature. Surrender now, I'll end it quickly. What do you say?

Spider-Man: What do I say? Go to the Devil -(punches the Green Goblin) - Snacky!

Issue 472

Aunt May: So: Peter, last egg. Last egg, Peter. Would you two like to get together?

Issue 500

[Dr. Strange and Spider-Man are "outside" of the timeline.]

Dr. Strange: You have to come with me. You will have to find me.

Spider-Man: Great. Swell idea. Ummm...how?

Dr. Strange: You will have to come back up your own timeline until you reach the present.

Spider-Man: Uh-huh. Did you get that part about "how?"

Dr. Strange: I am a Sorcerer Supreme, Spider-Man. I miss nothing.

Spider-Man: Okay, okay, just checking, don't get your cape in a knot...

Issue 529

Peter Parker: Back at the hospital, MJ had her right arm broken in the fight. But afterward, she was fine. What happened? I'd ask her myself, but I don't want to make her relive that day.

Tony Stark: Oh, that. Well... On the way back here, Jessica set the bone, and I injected a compound around the bone that sealed the break better than a splint and stopped the swelling. A secondary layer of flesh-tone silicone outside the arm compressed any residual swelling and masked the injury. Having broken so many of my own bones over the years, I've made that a standard part of my emergency kit.

Peter & Tony break the fourth wall and look at the reader, giving them a "And now you know" look.

Peter Parker: Good... Because, I was wondering--

Tony Stark: Yes, well, who wouldn't?

Issue 531

Titanium Man: This, Tovarisch Spider, is where it ends.

Spider-Man: Say 'Moose and Squirrel'.

Spider-Man (Thinking): This is your chance to look good in D.C., Peter. Don't mess it up. Think something catchy, something historic...

Spider-Man (Aloud): And don't come back!

Senator: For us to trust you, you have to come down here and take off you mask. Will you do that?

Spider-Man: It protects my identity. I'm sorry, but I can't.

Senator: Young man, you may be above the ground, but you are not above the law. That is a superpower which no-one has.

Titanium Man: When your government turns on you...when you are hunted and driven out...I wonder--How will you feel the day you run errands for other people...for briefcases filled with money?

Iron Man: ...Say 'Moose and Squirrel'. Just once.

Titanium Man: Amerikanski humor. But soon, not so funny, yes?

Issue 537

Captain America: Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world - "No, you move."

Spider-Man: (Pause) Can I, like, carry your books to school? For the rest of my life?

Captain America: Come on... time to get you back to the rest of the group.

Spider-Man: I mean it. I can give you my lunch. My aunt made tuna sandwiches. Again.

Issue 545

[Peter and Mary Jane accepted Mephisto's deal to erase heir marriage from history (and all knowledge of it) in exchange for Aunt May's life.]

Mary Jane Watson-Parker: It doesn't matter. Because whatever he does to pull us apart would have to be bigger and stronger than what brought us together and kept us together, no matter what happened. And there's no power in the universe big enough for a job like that. Not the Devil, not God, not anybody.

Harry Osborn (at his surprise party): All this for little old me?

Issue 547

Spiderman (after hearing the name of his new foe): Mr Negative! Are you kidding me! Did they run out of names at the name store?