Nick Kang

• "No! Your suppossed to say, 'those aren't grains of truth that's the truth about grain!'"
• "Just made it in the Nick of time...damn, I crack myself up!"
• "Please, everyone -- hold your applause."
• "Mess with the best, bleed like the rest"
• "It's time to hit the road, Jack, or em... Nick."
• "Nah, double the pleasure, double the fun -- if you got enough ammo, that is" (during his conversation with his father's friend George, who suggests Nick shoot with one gun to "save an arm for the senoritas". His response is "that's what Viagra's for, sonny boy!")
• "OOPS! Gotta spend more time at the range!"(after shooting a civilian)
• "Speaking of which, Masterson... your fly's open. (during a conversation with Masterton after Masterson tells him "You don't so much as take a leak without me saying so.")
• "You have the right...to soak in your own urine" (after ambushing a thug who was "taking a leak")
• "Man, who peed in your coffee?"
• "Mess with the E.O.D, end up D.O.A! Man, that was corny."
• "You know I work alone."
• "Hell hath no fury like Nick Kang pissed off!"
• "This is Nick Kang, live in pursuit of another dumb ass criminal!"
• "Oh great, I'll have a black coffee, no sugar... In that case, make that a bourbon." (when introduced to Rosie, and is told by Chief that Rosie is Nick's new partner)
• "Okay, you're clean. Keep it that way, eh?"
• "Sorry, my bad. Now beat it!"
• "E.O.D! Hold it man!"
• "Damn! Nothing!"
• "Why does everyone keep saying that?" (during a conversation with Chief and Masteron, which ends with Masterton saying "Don't make me regret this!"- a line that Nick is most familiar with).
• "Heh. Sounds like a line from a bad video game." (after when Masterton says "Screw this up and I'll have this badge, capiese?!)
• "My name is Nick Kang, and I'll be your carjacker today."
• "Get out of the car, before I shoot you!"
• "The city of LA appreciates your cooperation."
• "Don't worry, just a little test drive! ...yeah, right."
• "This is Nick Kang live at the crime scene."
• "From now on, it's re-runs for you, Lola." (after arresting Lola, duh)
• "What's wrong with fast? Fast's good!"
• "What? I can't hear you! Oh, you can't hear me either." (after a fight with a Triad thug, who has a chopstick in one ear)
• "Okay, let's see what this baby can do!"
• "Wanna play cat and mouse? You're the mouse- I'm the tiger."
• "I am the shadow that walks."
• "Wooooo! Yeah, who da man?!"
• "Sure, just hold onto your towels." (during a conversation that turns into a fight with Spa bathers)
• "I still got it!"
• "Yeah!"
• "Argh...Must have said the magic word" (after being kicked in the groin by Gypsy, the stripper he meets)
• "Ready to be Bubba's little bitch?"
• "I'm gonna make you my bitch!...bitch!"
• "Horse shit!"
• "Think of this as 'confinement jewelery'." (when arresting someone)
• "You packing heat or holding dope, man?"
• "Oh look, a mugger! Someone should teach him the value of a hard day's work."
• "I'm going to make you scream like a cat in heat!"
• "You fought the law and the law won!"
• "Get up Nick!"
• "Everyone get down, now!" (upon shooting a warning shot)
• "After being stuck in this traffic, I never had a chance!"
• "Duck! Ah, too late." (after accidentally killing a civilian)
• (Nick is checking out the kitchen of a restaurant when he is ambushed by Triad cooks armed with knives.) Nick: Howdy! I'm with the County Health Inspector. Cook: Kill him! Nick: Okay, but there goes your A rating.
• "Man, that's some bad skin. Try getting a little sun sometime." (when confronted by a zombie)
• (Nick confonts Ancient Wu) Nick: "Ancient Wu! Your looking well...for a cadavar." Wu: "Come on Nicholas. I'm only 342 years old." Nick: "Well, 3 centuries of crime will do that to a man."
• "Kang's Chinese Laundry - less starch per stiff." (after answering his phone while at his brother's gym)
• "Run Forrest, run!" (while chasing a criminal)
• "Score! 5 points! Oh wait that's not funny..." (after hitting a pedestrian)
• "You see this? This, is my BOOMSTICK! (sometimes while chasing criminals)
• "Oh shit, it's dim sum time!"(certain missions while being chased)
• "I feel the need...the need for speed!"
• "Kung...POW!" (When using a finishing combo)
• "Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me? (while frisking)
• "How did you NOT see me coming?!" (after ramming a civilian with a car)
• "Crime don't pay- but sometimes it can hurts like hell." (after arrest someone with drugs or weapons)
• "Grand Theft Auto?! That sucks!" (after hearing the dispatcher regarding a car theft)
• "Stay the fuck down!"
• "Give me your car, your keys, and get your ass out!"
• "Try laundering that bitch" (after blowing up rocky's plane)
• "This must be where the cool kids hang out"
• "WHOA call animal control"(when your facing Ancient Wu's dragon)
• "Nice wheels... Shame"
• "Ninjas got nothin' on me"

Snoop Dogg

• "My bad, don't trip...now beat it."
• "Consider yourself jacked...motherfucker."
• "Out the car before I clap at yo' bitch ass!"
• "What chu got there nigga?"
• "That's some hype shit- I'm just goin' confinscate it and give you a warning."
• "What kind of dumbass lets someone take their shit?"
• "I'ma make you scream like yo momma did last night, bitch!"
• "What you wanna mess with a nigga like me fo? I'm a craaazy motherfucker!"
• "This is the Snoop Dizzle, in pursuit of another dumbass mother fucker!" (While running or chasing after a criminal)

Rosie Velasquez

• "Whatever, but you drive yourself okay?" (when told by the chief to get something to eat with Nick in an attempt to get to know him better)
• "Screw you!"
• "Chief, I've heard about this loose cannon and there's no way I'm working with him!" (after being told by Chief that Nick is her new partner)
• "Listen, I'm not your damn sidekick! Just try not to shoot yourself in the foot, okay?" (After when Nick informs her via radio that he's got Rocky)
• "What's Chinese for "crazy"? No way I'm gonna work with you- you're out of control, I don't need this shit." (after Nick's fight with the Triad thug"
• "I know what it says: Beware of nutcases!" (after Nick told her that she forgot her fortune cookie)
• "Figures, you perv." (when Nick tells her that he's going after the stripper lead first)

Pedestrians/LA residents

• "Get off my balls."
• "Easy, cabron--I got a green card, okay?"
• "You better bring my car back in one piece!"
• "AHHH! I'm gonna kill yo' ass!"
• "Hey, come back here you chickenshit!"
• "Oh my god... did you see that??"
• "Like, I just saw this on a cop show last week."
• "Hey! If you wanted a refund just say so!"
• "I am gonna sue you for this!"
• "Darn kids today. What now, eh?"
• "You're outta line, mister!"
• "I've got you figured out, mister!"
• "Whatever, but that's still five dollars, officer."
• "Oh, shit! They busting caps over there!"
• "You want a freakin' piece of me, fool? You wanna get down?"
• "What the fuck?! AAAAHHH!!" (When you shoot your weapon.)
• "Ahhhrg! Where's my shotgun?
• "Man, that Chinese dude aint no joke."
• "Oh, dizzy! Oh, diggitidamn, I gotta go!"
• "Dammit, back in the day, people stopped!"
• "You're just like my grandkids! Rotten punks!"
• "They're shooting everyone!" (When weapon is shot wildly.)
• "Yeah it's drugs... Really good drugs. Want some, officer?" (After being frisked and drugs are found.)
• "I don't know what you mean! I'm on the pill, okay?!" (After being frisked and drugs are found.)
• "Those are for my hemrroids!"(An elderly civilian after being frisked and drugs are found)
• "That's it! I'm calling the Senator!"
• "Oh, shit! Oh diggitidamn, I gotta go!"
• "Man officer, you planted the evidence!"(After being frisked and found Drugs or Weapons)