The Invisible Man Quotations

The Invisible Man, a 2000–2002 U.S. television series, is one of several that have been conceptually based on H. G. Wells's book of the same name. In this variation, con artist Darien Fawkes takes part in an experiment that implants in him a "quicksilver" gland, allowing him to become invisible. But he must work for a government agency in order to receive treatments to keep the gland from driving him insane.

Quotes

[Repeated line]

Darien Fawkes: Aw, crap.

Darien Fawkes: Die, cuckoo clock, die!.

[pointing a gun at his head]

Darien Fawkes: Nobody moves, or the gland gets it!

Darien Fawkes: What's her name anyway?

Bobby Hobbes: "The", last name "Keeper"

The Official: There is no invisible man.

Hobbes: Looks like this is going to the X-Files, I guess, huh?

Bobby Hobbes: Come on, we're partners, aren't we? What are you? GS-2, GS-3, what?

Darien Fawkes: They mentioned something like, was it a GS-6 or something?

Bobby Hobbes: GS-6.

Darien Fawkes:: Is that good?

[Repeated line]

Arnaud: Little prick.

Darien Fawkes: Oh! Kevin! What can I tell you about my brother Kevin?

[Shot of boy throwing Legos in the air.]

Darien Fawkes: That's me.

[Shot of boy building a DNA model out of Legos.]

Darien Fawkes: That's Kevin.

[Shot of man running from a police car in pursuit.]

Voice: Suspect is a white male approximately 21 years of age.

Darien Fawkes: That's me.

[Shot of Kevin graduating college.]

Voice: A man of brilliance and vision.

Darien Fawkes: That's Kevin.

The Keeper: When you're invisible, the only one really watching you is you.

Darien Fawkes: Wow, could you print that up and put that on a keychain for me?

Darien Fawkes: By the way, I want my tombstone to say, "Too late, he's already dead." You know, just in case more people show up wanting to screw my life over.

Kevin Fawkes: We have to think about premature visibility.

Darien Fawkes: Premature visibility.

Kevin Fawkes: It can happen if you get distracted.

Darien Fawkes: Well, then we need to get some uglier nurses.

Darien Fawkes: You're in the spy business and you don't have a safe house?

The Official: It was either a safe house or the electric bill.

Darien Fawkes: You gotta fix me.

The Keeper: Did you break yourself already?

Darien Fawkes: Look I'm telling you, this thing they put in my head. I think it's evil, and I think it's trying to take over.

The Keeper: It's a bio-synthetic gland. It's not evil.

The Keeper: If you hadn't so recently vomited, I would kiss you!

Bobby Hobbes: I could eat a mint.

Bobby Hobbes: All right. Let's review our options: Quicksilver madness - dead. Unchecked infection - dead. Escape the building - dead. Stay in the building until Protocol Thirty-Four elapses - dead.

Darien Fawkes: Oh, you left out being struck by a giant meteor.

Darien Fawkes: I'm going mute as we speak.

Albert Eberts: I love the smell of toner in the morning.

Albert Eberts: Sir, may I have permission to go to the file room?

The Keeper: Albert, we're less than twenty-four hours from being vaporized and you want to finish up paper work?

Bobby Hobbes: Leave him be. It comforts him.

The Keeper: Did you have to drop this on the ground, Darien?

Darien Fawkes: I was on my way to get a breakfast Burrito when I pulled a rat skeleton out of my pocket. What did you want me to do? Hug him? Pet him? Call him George?

Darien Fawkes: I'm trying to make the cover of Lab Rat Monthly.

Darien Fawkes: The U.S. Postal Service promises that 'Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays their couriers from their swift completion of their appointed routes'. But gunfire?... Now, I found that that tends to bring most routines to a screeching halt.

Darien Fawkes: A babe named Princess Diana once said that 'If men had to have babies, they would only have one'. Truer words were never spoken.

Arnaud: You're sharp.

Robert Hobbes: As a tack.

[Darien is sick]

Darien Fawkes: Those three wise men known as The Beastie Boys have been known to say "Let's get ill!"

[sneezes]

Darien Fawkes: Screw them.

Major cast

Vincent Ventresca — Darien Fawkes
Paul Ben-Victor — Bobby Hobbes
Shannon Kenny — The Keeper/Claire Keeply
Eddie Jones — The Official/Charles Bowden
Michael McCafferty — Albert Eberts
Brandy Ledford — Agent Alex Monroe