Dialogue from Tank Girl comics

[massacring a group of bounty hunters]

Tank Girl: Condensed milk sandwiches ... OOOHKEHHH!

[narrating a photo-journal entry]

Tank Girl: I do something special on Friday afternoons. The rest of the week I hang around with the gang, we ride our bikes on the pavement, set light to our pubes, steal, lie, break things, smoke fags down to the butt, draw nobs on models in SKY Magazine, punch people and sometimes we cruise into the McDrive-in of McDonalds and order a McSpunk shake, then we call them McCunts and McPetrol bomb the McFucking joint. But on Friday afternoon I go with my friend 'Gavin the fleabag! I never tell anyone where I am, sometimes I say I'm going to see my gynaecologist, then no one probes me because something smells fishy. My special time with Gavin is spent pressing flowers, prancing, playing doctors and nurses, mending things, listening to 'The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway' by Genesis, crying, playing blow football and sometimes we go out to the back garden with no pants on and jump over the garden sprinkler. When I'm with my friends and I see Gavin, I blank him.

[narrating]

Booga: I'm Tank Girl's boyfriend. We're in love. Well, I'm in love and she occasionally pours boiling water down my Calvin Kleins.

[PROLOGUE BIT! over an introductory image of Tank Girl]

Narrator: What's bald, and smelly, snogs kangaroos, wears shoes that don't fit and a bra that's too tight, (and knickers that need a good wash), smokes, drinks, and fights too much for her own good, and at this very moment in time has a mega hangover?.........................You guessed it!

[sitting on a throne she found]

Tank Girl: I'm 23. Look at me, I'm 23. I can see all from up here.... All the boys and girls.... All the dicks and fannys. And what of these sexual revolutions, boys and girls? Are you in the right sexual category? This is the question. Who gives a shit...... Dicks and balls dicks and fannys. Give me the celibate vegetarians from Mars anytime. I'd love to fuck you up. I'd love to fuck you up. Speaking of dicks, it's Booga's birthday today....... I'd better get the old tosser a present.. Right! Off to Dirty Fred's Old Curiosity shop...

Tank Girl: I've been to Australia. I met the devil, drank beer and snogged kangaroos.

Narrator: And so, over a pleasant repast and a warm sugary chat, we resolved our differences and started our relationship anew. Which just goes to show, tea will be the saving grace of our wretched planet.

Tank Girl: Oh Booga! It's you my Darling! God, I feel like!...Like...Like...

Booga: Like what? Spit it out!

Tank Girl: Like a brand new pair of Dr Martin boots with air wair soles!

[arriving in Switzerland with a mischievous smile]

Tank Girl: At last Switzerland! Home of the Swiss yeti, cuckoo clocks, world banking, and Goat Peter.... Was he Swiss or Swedish? Ah what the fuck, they all drive Volvos.

Dialogue from Tank Girl movie

[Narrating, "Tank Girl" Rebecca describes the post-comet world.]

Tank Girl: It hasn't rained in 11 years! Now, 20 people gotta squeeze inside the same bathtub. So it ain't all bad.

[As Jet sobs over her lost hangar privileges, Tank Girl slides out from under a vehicle to chat.]

Tank Girl: Oh, I was just thinkin' about leavin' this place. It's been swell, but the swelling's gone down.

[As Jet cries in the female lavatory, Tank Girl slides under the cubicle door to console her.]

Tank Girl: You gotta think about it like the first time you got laid... You just look up and say; "Daddy? Is this right?"

[At Liquid Silver, Tank Girl and Jet take the Madam captive.]

Tank Girl: NOW! EVERYBODY strap your guns… or I scrape off all her make-up.

[She moves in on the Madam's face with a razor, then pulls back in disgust.]

Tank Girl: This might take me a really long time.

[Sitting on the barrel of her tank gun, Tank Girl pulls alongside the arms truck drivers.]

Tank Girl: Feelin' a little inadequate?

[Tank Girl takes up a boxing stance after Kesslee's arm gets wedged into a giant gear.]

Tank Girl: [as Muhammed Ali] Oh, I'm so pretty. I'm-a gonna hit you so hard, your children will be born bruised!

Tank Girl: P-p-p-pow!

Tank Girl: [to Sergeant Small] Quite pickin' on my girlfriend!

[kisses Jet Girl]

Sergeant Small: Ugh..shit! God, that is..

[he leaves in disgust]

Jet Girl: Thanks, I think it worked.

Tank Girl: What worked?

[Jet Girl has a gun pointed at Small's head]

Sergeant Small: Fuck me!

Jet Girl: How many times do I have to tell you? I don't want to.

[Tank Girl and Jet Girl are captured and gassed with Nitrous Oxide by the Rippers.]

T-Saint: How much are they paying you?

Tank Girl:[laughing maniacally] Two dollars and fifteeeen cents!!