Return of the Spider-Slayers

• Spider-Man: [about a bomb strapped to his wrist] No, no take it back. It clashes with the color of my costume.

• Spider-Man: (To J. Jonah Jameson, as Smythe is threatening them both) Don't look at me. Maybe you forgot to deliver his paper this morning!

• J. Jonah Jameson: (Jonah and Spider-man both have the bomb strapped to their wrist) Can't you pry this thing off?
• Spider-Man: You want a trial separation already. I understand, but, I'm hurt.

• Spider-Man: (Planting the bomb on the Spider-Slayer) I hate to borrow somebody else's line, but it's Clobbering time!

Sting of the Scorpion

• Thug: It's Spider-Man!
• Spider-Man: Spider-Man? Where? I get all flustered when I meet a celebrity! I just don't know what to say!

The Alien Costume (Part 3)

• Spider-Man: You don't understand, Brock! The symbiote doesn't just bond with you, it takes over! Makes you do what it wants! You've got to separate from it!
• Venom: Separate?! We're made for each other! Brock's rage and vengefulness made us a perfect breeding ground - far better than you, Parker!
• Spider-Man: Brock, you've got to get rid of it!
• Venom: Why?! We're part of a life force that has existed since the dawn of time. Imagine what you've turned down, Parker. Think of all this knowledge. We've seen thousands of worlds, millions of civilizations, learned many secrets - always with but one goal above all else: to survive. And now we're sharing those secrets with Eddie Brock. We're very happy together.

• Spider-Man: Brock, for the last time, you must--
• Venom: [covers his mouth] STOP CALLING US THAT!! We are VENOM now!!

• Spider-Man: Brock, the more you hate me, the more the symbiote can control you!
• Venom: Who says we hate you?! Fact is, we're your biggest fan! [Throws a blade from the fan at Spider-Man]

• Venom: Ticket, please.
• Spider-Man: Next time, I'm flying!

The Insidious Six

• Spider-Man: (To Mysterio who is under the guise of Spider-Man) Well aren't you a hanadsome gent?

Hydro-Man

• Mary Jane: [a geyser has just erupted in Central Park as Spider-Man arrives] What are you doing here?
• Spider-Man: A 500 foot geyser erupts in Washington Square and you're wondering why I'm here?

• Man: Somebody call the cops!
• Woman: No, call a lifeguard!

• Hydro-Man: Pathetic. You don't really think you can match the power of Hydro-Man do you?
• Spider-Man: Did you say Hydrant-Man? The dogs must love you.

The Mutant Agenda

• Storm: [striking sentinel] Power of lighting, strike again!
• Spider-Man: Uh... power of webshooters, get real sticky!

Morbius

• Liz: If a man avoids a major babe like you, it can only mean one thing.
• Mary Jane: What?
• Liz: He isn't human anymore.

Make a Wish

• Girl: Where did you get your powers? Timmy says you're from a dying planet and your parents sent you here in a little spaceship.
• Spider-Man: I think Timmy has me confused with someone else.

Enter the Green Goblin

• Norman Osborn: There was only ONE True Goblin! The GREEN Goblin!

• Spider-Man: Alright Hobgob- Hey, you're not the Hobgoblin...
• Green Goblin: How observant you are! No, I'm not the Hobgoblin, meddler. I'm the Green Goblin! Not that you'll live long enough for it to matter!

Tombstone

• Tombstone: Come down here and fight like a man!
• Spider-Man: I don't suppose I could convince you to come up here and fight like a spider.

Venom Returns

• Eddie Brock: Good night, Dr. Kafka... Ashley....
• Cletus Kasady (To Dr. Kafka): Don't I get a goodbye kiss? Or are you afraid I'm gonna bite?
• Eddie Brock (To Kasady): Hey, you! SHUT UP!
• Cletus Kasady (To Eddie): Hey man, I could eat you for breakfast!
• Eddie Brock: Oh yeah? I'd give you indigestion... MAN!

• Kingpin: [has just grabbed Spidey in a massive bear-hug] Approximately 2% of my body mass is fat, Spider-Man. Allow me to show you what 350 lbs. of MUSCLE is capable of!

• Hobgoblin: [Talking to the Kingpin] Midnight, be there or be square! In your case, it'd just be easier to be there.

• Green Goblin: Stand back for the REAL Goblin!
• Hobgoblin: What?!
• Green Goblin: The GREEN Goblin!
• Hobgoblin: I thought you were just a rumor!
• Green Goblin: You're going to wish I was!

• Norman Osborn: Yes, the Goblin takes care of me. He makes life... better for me. He's the only one. Nobody else loves me! They all hate me!
• Spider-Man (To himself): Now, while he's Osborn...I've got to make this count! {Jumps backward to attack Gobby from behind}
• Green Goblin: Quit whining, Osborn! How am I going to make a man out of you if you're going to-
• Spider-Man: OSBORN!!
• Green Goblin: WHAT - !? {Gets tackled}

Farewell, Spider-Man!

• Madam Web: Face front, true believer. We're going to find the real Mary Jane Watson. It's been a long, hard journey and I think you're finally entitled to some happiness.
• Spider-Man: Amen to that, dear lady. Amen to that.