Raising Arizona Quotations

Raising Arizona is a 1987 film written, produced, and directed by the Coen Brothers. The film has developed a small cult following and is a favorite among fans of the Coen brother's films mainly because it speaks to the human condition, the semi-uncontrollable desire to have children and the hilarity that ensues.

H.I. McDunnough

Prison life is more structured than most men care for...
I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn't easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House. I dunno. They say he's a decent man, so maybe his advisors are confused.

And the doc went on to explain that this woman, who looked as fertile as the Tennessee Valley, could bear no young. Her insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.

There's what's right, and there's what's right, and never the twain shall meet.

Nathan needs some Huggies, I'll be out directly. Mind you stay strapped in.

Now, Y'all who're without sin can cast the first stone

Edwina 'Ed' McDunnough

My fie-ance left me!

Now mind his li'l fontanelle!

Turn to the right!

(to Smalls) GIVE ME THAT BABY YOU WARTHOG FROM HELL!

Evelle Snopes

We released ourselves on our own recognizance.

H.I., you're young and you got your health, what you want with a job?

Nathan Arizona Sr.

Well, this is nothing but a goddamn shakedown and a screwjob, any way you look at it!

And if a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass a-hoppin'.

I don't know what his damn jammies looked like... they had Yodas and shit on them.

Nobody sleeps naked in this house boy!

You got chairs and a table you gotcher self a dinette set. You got chairs and no table, you got dick!

Glen

I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
Say, did you hear about the person of the Polish persuasion who walked into a bar with a big 'ol pile of shit in his hands and he says, "Look what I almost stepped in"?
(Glass crashing in background) Mind you don't cut yourself, Mordecai.
I'm crappin' you negative.

Others

Lone Biker: You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin' Donuts, call a cop.

Hayseed: Well, which is it young fella? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, iffen I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And iffen I drop, I'm a gonna be in motion.

Old man in pickup truck: Son, you got a panty on your head.

Dot: Reilly, You take that diaper off your head and put it back on your sister.

Dot: You gotta get 'em diptet boosters yearly or else they'll develop lockjaw and night vision.

Dot: That there's for his orthodonture and his college. You soak his thumb in iodine and you might get by without the orthodonture, but it won't knock a thing off the college.

Dialogue

FBI Investigator: Is it true your name was originally 'Nathan Huffheinz'?

Nathan: Yeah, what of it?

FBI Investigator: Why did you change it?

Nathan: Would you buy furniture from a place called 'Unpainted Huffheinz'?

Doctor: Why do you say you feel "trapped" in a man's body.

Convict: Well, sometimes I get them menstrual cramps real hard.

H.I. McDunnough: (to the cashier) I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got.

Edwina 'Ed' McDunnough: That sum'bitch. That son of a bitch! (runs out of the car and yells outside the store window) You son of a bitch!

H.I. McDunnough: And make it quick, I'm in dutch with the wife.

Moses: An' when they was no meat we ate fowl. An'when they was no fowl we ate crawdad. An' when they was no crawdad to be foun', we ate San'.

HI: You ate what?

Moses: (nodding): We ate San'.

HI: You ate sand?!

Moses: Dass right . . .

Nathan: Who the hell are you?

Leonard: Smalls. Leonard Smalls. My friends call me Lenny. But I got no friends.

Evelle: Balloons. (He unhooks a bag of ballons.) Hey. These blow up into funny shapes at all?

Cashier: Well naw. Unless round is funny.