Murdoc Niccals (born June 6, 1966 in Stoke-on-Trent, England) is the fictional founding member of the virtual band Gorillaz. He provides bass for the band. He was created by Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn.

Unsourced

• "Kids, eh? Little treasures. I love them. Couldn't eat a whole one though."

• [On the ending of "O Green World"] Murdoc: Ask not for whom the bell tolls.

2D: Why not?

Murdoc (dramatically): It tolls for thee.

• [on the video for Rock It] "And at the end, one of those talent show winners that you can never remember the name of appears as this big monster with COMPETITION WINNER above her head and dead kittens flying out of her mouth. So that was it, really. Good video, good song."

• "'Always be wary of people who use quotes.' I can't remember who said that."

• [talking about his father, after being left on his door step] "I think if eBay had been invented at the time, he would have sold me online then and there."

• [to 2D] "Happy days! ...That's when your eye came out, wasn't it?"

• "Technically, though, my voice is a lot better than 2D's"

• [on Clint Eastwood] "If this was any more catchy then we'd have to invent a vaccine."

• "You should never touch another man's bass. I strongly advise against it."

• (Murdoc jumps up, startled)

Murdoc: A ghost just pulled my hat off.

(The rest of Gorillaz ignore him)

Murdoc: Seriously, I was just sitting hear talking to you lot, and a ghost just pulled my hat right off. Look, it's on the ground.

Russel: Sit down, Muds. Your going nowhere until we finish this.

(Murdoc huffs back to his seat, clearly disinterested in continuing.)

• [on 5/4] "It's only saved by some excellent, new wave keyboards from 2D. He's superb when he's like that."

• "'Sexy, edgy, dangerous'. If you Google my name, those are the first three words you see."

• 2D: I think he liked the singing, mostly.

Muds: In your dreams, sunshine.

• "That guy squeezed my plumbs so hard, I was singing falsetto for weeks."

• "I don't care about your pain. Entertain me."

• "When he [Dr. Wurzel] nicked my Winnebago, all the little nerds posted pictures of him driving it in different places. On top of Big Ben, on the Death Star, in a lake, baked in a sodding cake..."

• [on Punk] "I like this one. 2D sounds like he's going a bit mental."

• [on high record sales in the States] "Headline reads 'Bleedin' obvious discovered right in front of own face'"

• "I just love the way that Mister Freedom enters the building by kicking his way through a window, an then just stomps into the room. For a while I did that, every place I entered."

• "Thats how you kill an eel, apparently. Melt its face."

• [on 19-2000] "The director just said 'drive', so I did."

• "Russel. If I was at a gig in 2002, and I saw The Beatles performing live, I think I'd freak out too."

• Murdoc (snootily): I have never put an egg in a microwave.

Noodle: You lie.

• "When I die, I wanna come back as me and do the whole thing all over again."

• [On a picture of him holding a baby] "Whose baby is that???"

• "Hey! Everbody! Look at me, I'm a moron!"

• (about the El Manana conspiracy)

"And your not worried about your confession in print?

Murdoc: I'm a cartoon, mate. You'll have a hard time getting anything to stick on me. I don't even have fingerprints.

Don't you feel any remorse?

Murdoc: Not a jot, it was him or us. And it's not gonna be us now, is it? So there you go, Jimmy Manson. He wasn't big, and he wasn't smart.

• (Noodle is talking extensively about the failed movie project)

Murdoc: "Noodle, could you wake us up when you're done?"

• Murdoc: "Listen mate, I may be no spring chicken, but I don't look that rough do I? I mean, the lines on my face are all laughter lines."

Russel: "Nothing's that funny."

• "You were born an original, don't die a copy!"

• I am using the chimney-flue as a metaphor to the imagination and the zombies are a metaphor for a blockage in said pathway. It's all a metaphor.

2D: Really?

Murdoc: No. We really have six undead corpses in of chimney.

2D: Oh. Well, that explains the smell.