From the series

Ewan McGregor: Claudio, there is no problem between Charley and me, Charley tell him.

Charley Boorman:: There's a terrible problem with us - we hate each other.

Ewan McGregor: These aren't the bikes you're looking for.

Ewan McGregor: There's no "I" in "team", but as Russ pointed out the other day there is a "me".

Ewan McGregor: I said, "Eve, I want you to look after my wedding ring while I'm away," and she started to cry and I said, "Eve. Eve, I can't wear my ring or I won't get laid on the trip!

Ewan McGregor: Scots: inventors of the modern world. You're welcome.

Ewan McGregor: Get me out of f****** London!

Ewan McGregor: Most people bring a coffee [to the end of a dinner party], but he brought a f***ing machine gun! (On Igor, their host, and his dramatic entrance in the Ukraine).

Charley Boorman (in a Hollywood voiceover accent): Long Way Round - Bad hair never looked so good!