Ellie

• Why can't you just download porn like most other teenage boys?
• Jimmy!
• Maybe you guys should hurry up.
• We were attacked.

Jimmy

• You know the best thing about being a fairy? You get to fly.

• Yay, go gay!

• Bo!

• I've waited over an hour for you.

• Aah!

• For over an hour, I've waited.

Joanie

• Putting on weight, Kyle?

• All I got was a couple dates, some hot sex and an "I'm not ready for a relationship, it's not you it's me".

• Why do men always go for the tortured ones? Poor, damaged Ellie.

• Fair fight? This is Hollywood!

• I guess there's no such thing as safe sex with a werewolf.

• Jake, honey, muffin. I'm not going to kill her, I promise. I'm just gonna rip her to shreds and let her choke on her own blood... and then maybe I'll eat her.

• Fair fight? This is Hollywood! And you! You get one taste of blood and you freak out.

Zela

• I've got the gift. I blame my mother.

• I see blood.

• Both of you are in danger.

• (In Deleted scenes) It's over my butt.

• You're Cursed.

Dialogue

Zela: I see blood.

Jimmy: Can you be still for second?

Becky: You try flipping your car down a mountain and then staying still!

Kyle: Hey, '70s retro week is booking up. Do we want Keith Partridge or Marcia Brady?

Ellie: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

Bo: You trying out for the wrestling team Jimmy?

Jimmy: Oh no, I don't, I don't wrestle.

Bo: I'd think all that male to male contact would be right up your alley!

Jimmy: Is that the appeal for you? Haven't you been team captain for two years now?

Kyle: Okay, all psychics back in their seats please.

Zela: The beast is human, too. Don't forget that. And it's closer to you than you think.

Kyle: Maybe you can just follow me... Shouldn't you psychically know when you're annoying someone?

Jimmy: No, I'm not gay, I'm cursed!

Bo: I know it must feel like that sometimes...

Jimmy: No, I'm cursed by the Mark of the Beast!

Jimmy: It's part of the curse, I'm appealing, I have this unnatural sexual allure.

Bo: Yeah, yeah, you do, I know.

Bo:What the fuck was that?

Jimmy: My dog.

Bo: What kinda dog do you have?

Ellie: She may have changed back into her human form. Her name's Joanie, she's this hyper, skinny publicist.

Police Officer: Any other descriptions?

Jimmy: Yeah, she's.. what 5'7?

Ellie: She's got a bony ass...and fat thighs...and bad skin...

Joanie: Liar!!!

Ellie: So it's over right? Joanie's dead, so we're okay now.

Jimmy: That's subjective, we still have to back to our pathetic pre-cursed lives.

Ellie: I'm personally okay with that.

Jimmy: You're not in high school.

Ellie: You're a monster.

Jake: Join the club.

Cast

• Christina Ricci — Ellie
• Jesse Eisenberg — Jimmy
• Joshua Jackson — Jake
• Judy Greer — Joanie
• Michael Rosenbaum — Kyle
• Milo Ventimiglia — Bo
• Portia de Rossi — Zela
• Shannon Elizabeth — Becky