Topics Cellular (film) Quotations
Cellular is a 2004 suspense thriller starring Chris Evans, Kim Basinger, Jason Statham, and William H. Macy. It is about Jessica (played by Basinger), a high-school biology teacher who is taken from her home by five assailants to an unknown location, and Ryan, a young man who she calls as she puts together a broken telephone. The film follows him in his attempts to save her and her family, making sure that the connection is not broken.
- [after shooting the number taker in the store] Now who's gonna give me that goddamn charger?
- "Ricky Martin"? You named your kid "Ricky Martin"?
- [after stealing the lawyer's car] Ohh, I am in deep shit!
- [after he views the tape] I'm a dead man.
- [greeting girls at the pier] Hey Chloe. Sam. Friend with nipples.
- [seeing Ryan with a box of fliers to pass out] Haha - that sucks. [Ryan shoves the box at him] No way! This sucks more!
- [As he shoots someone for the first time in his entire career] 27 years. 27 years without this shit!
- [Talking to the fake Jessica Martin] We had a report of a possible kidnapping. You haven't been kidnapped today, have you? [Chuckles]
- [trying to get his car out of the impound lot] Okay, fine... I'm getting out my checkbook. Who do I make it out to? "Lady Who Sucks?"
- [Talking on his cell phone] I'm tellin' ya, I'm sitting in it right now. It's a brand new Porsche Carrera. The partners gave it to me. Mm-Hm, sugar. Brand new, arctic blue convertible. It goes zero to 60 in 5.2 seconds. Takes the girls' panties down in 3.5 seconds. [Phone line gets suddenly disrupted by Jessica and Ryan] Hey, this is a private call. Get off my line! Mom, are you still there?
- Jessica Martin: [after slashing a kidnapper's arm with a shard of glass] Tenth grade biology. Brachial artery... pumps 30 liters of blood a minute. There's only five in the human body. I'm sorry.
- Ricky Martin: Mom, will you still be a science teacher when I get into high school?
- Jessica Martin: Hmm... You never know. Why?
- Ricky Martin: 'Cause I think it'd be kind of weird to have your mom as a teacher.
- Ryan: It's Chloe!
- Chad: No, dude, don't do this! Don't do this!
- Ryan: I'm just gonna say "hi."
- Chad: You're not gonna say "hi."
- Ryan: No "hi"?
- Chad: No "hi."
- Ryan: I can't say...
- Chad: [shouts] Come on, man! Hold it together! This girl, she dumped you, all right? Have some self-respect, have some dignity!
- Ryan: You're right.
- Chad: Be strong.
- Ryan: You're right.
- Chad: Yeah.
- Ryan: Thank you.
- Chad: All right.
- [he gets distracted by girls in bikinis]
- Chad: Oh! What's goin' on, ladies?
- [Ryan leaves to go talk to Chloe]
- [talking to Ryan on a payphone]
- Chad: Dude, I have no idea what just happened. One minute I'm talking to nipples, next thing you know, I'm wearing a whale costume handing out flyers.
- Ryan: [laughs] That sucks. Sounds like she got you.
- Chad: I mean, I'm not saying it doesn't have its benefits.
- [two girls that pass him by]
- Chad: Hey, you guys know that a blue whale's got an 11-foot penis? Heal the Bay.
- Jessica Martin: When I didn't show up for work today someone called the police, I'm sure.
- Greer: You better hope they didn't.
- WLSUU2 Lawyer: [after Ryan swerves his car in front of him] What the hell is your problem, man? What the hell is your problem? You want to tussle?
- Ryan: [pulls out his gun] Give me your phone!
- WLSUU2 Lawyer: Oh snaps.
- Ryan: Look, give me your phone or I shoot your car.
- WLSUU2 Lawyer: Oh, hell no, hell no. Why would you do something awful like that?
- [Ryan accidentally dials an artist on a payphone at Santa Monica Pier trying to reach Jessica's kidnappers]
- Ryan: I got what you're looking for.
- Vietnamese Artist: Oh?
- Ryan: Yeah.
- Vietnamese Artist: Okay, and what I do for it?
- Ryan: What?
- Vietnamese Artist: What I do for what I looking for? You tell me now.
- Ryan: Wait, who's this? What number did I call?
- Vietnamese Artist: You call me on the payphone. You waste my time. I have pictures to draw.
- Ryan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. Chill out.
- Vietnamese Artist: No, you don't tell me what to chill. My mother tell me to chill. I sit here, I draw people telling me to chill out all the time. You don't tell me what to chill. I chill you.
- Ryan: [Ryan and Ethan are discussing a place to meet] Santa Monica Pier.
- Ethan: No, too busy.
- Ryan: Yeah, that's kind of the idea, dickhead.
- Ryan: It doesn't make any sense, I give you the video, then you turn around and take us out.
- Greer: I swore I wouldn't do that.
- Ryan: Just like you swore "to protect and serve"?
- Ethan: [on walkie talkie] We found him yet?
- Dmitri: No, I don't see him.
- Ethan: He's the one on the cell phone, you idiot.
- [looks through his binoculars and sees various people on cell phones]
- Dmitri: Everybody's on a cell phone.
- Jack Tanner: I think all the chemicals from that beauty salon have gotten to your head.
- Mooney: It's a day spa, you fuck.
- [Mooney hesitates a bit, then shows Tanner Ryan's Cell Phone, front facing Tanner's face]
- [Greer has Ryan pinned down and is about to shoot him]
- Mooney: Let him up.
- [Greer looks up and sees Mooney pointing a gun at him]
- Ryan: Help me. They're dirty cops!
- Greer: He attacked my partner. He tried to kill me.
- Mooney: I said, "Let him up."
- Greer: You're going to believe this lying piece of shit over a cop?
- Mooney: It doesn't matter what I believe. What's important is that you believe I will put a bullet in your skull if you don't let him up.
- Jessica Martin: I don't know if there's anything I could ever do to thank you
- Ryan: I do. Don't ever call me again.
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