American Splendor Quotations

American Splendor is a 2003 film based on the comic books series by Harvey Pekar and Joyce Brabner.

Directed by Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini. Screenplay by Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini.

Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff.

Harvey

I've had enough bad experiences and growth to last me plenty...Right now, I'd be glad to trade some growth for happiness.
Man, she's got good looking handwriting.
Look Toby, the guys in that movie are not 28 year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto...They didn't get their computers like you did, by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket...Sure, go to the movies and daydream, but Revenge of the Nerds ain't reality. It's just Hollywood bullsh*t.
Yeah, I know I'm not as interesting as The Little Mermaid and all that magical crap.

Why does everything in my life have to be such a complicated disaster?!
Harvey, we better skip this whole courtship thing and just get married.
I guess I have a lot of borderline health disorders that limit me politically when it comes to eating.
I'll have you know that I come from a very dysfunctional family. I can spot personality disorders a mile away.
[referring to David Letterman] Megalomaniac.
I find most of American cities to be depressing in the same way.

I recommend the piña coladas. They are excellent and very authentic tasting.
[to Harvey] You know, you should try believing in something bigger than yourself. It might cheer you up.
[regarding "Revenge of the Nerds"] Yes, I consider myself a nerd. And this movie has uplifted me.
Hamburgers are a safer addiction than drugs. Say no to drugs. Say yes to White Castle.

Young Harvey: I ain't no super hero, lady. I'm just a kid from the neighborhood, all right?
Crumb: You turned yourself into a comic hero?
Real Harvey: It seemed that real, salt of the earth people like Toby and me were being co-opted by these huge corporations. We were getting held up and ridiculed as losers in the system. What can I say, it was the '80s, man.
Danielle: [to Harvey] Joyce is right. You are obsessive-compulsive.

Mr. Boats: Avoid the reeking herd! Shun the polluted flock! Live like that stoic bird, the eagle of the rock!" You know what that means, son?

Harvey: Yeah. It's from an Elinor Hoyt Wylie poem. It means stay away from the crowds of common ordinary people and do your own thing.

Mr. Boats: Nope, it means don't compromise yourself for women. Ain't gonna do you no good. Get away from them as soon as you can!

Harvey: Well, I ain't got no woman now. So I'm living like the stoic bird, man.

Mr. Boats: The only way to live, son.

Mattress Guy 1: So how smart is she?

Mattress Guy 2: I don't know. I guess she's about average.

Mattress Guy 1: Average? Hey, man. Average is dumb!

Joyce: Hi, Harvey. We finally meet in person.

Harvey: Hiya. Look, before we get started with any of this, you might as well know right off the bat. I had a vasectomy.

Joyce: Harvey, go get me water and a few aspirin.

Harvey: What, you got a headache?

Joyce: No, but I want to avoid one.