[to Kathleen Kelly] I would have asked for your phone number and I wouldn't have been able to wait 24 hours before calling and asking, "How about coffee, drinks, dinner, a movie, for as long as we both shall live?"

[to Kathleen Kelly about her internet friend NY152] Maybe he is fat. Yup. He's fat. He's a fatty.

[to Kathleen Kelly] Timing is everything. He waited until you were primed. Until you knew there was no other man you could ever love.

[to Kathleen Kelly (Shopgirl) in email] Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms.

[to Kathleen Kelly (Shopgirl) in email] Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you and then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time and we'd both be happy? On the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.

[to Kevin] I love Patricia. Patricia's amazing. Patricia makes coffee nervous.

[to Kevin] I said we were a goddamn piazza where people could mingle and mix and be.…I was eloquent. Shit.

[to Kathleen Kelly] I met a man in an elevator today who knew exactly what he wanted. And I found myself wishing I were as lucky as he.

[to Kathleen Kelly (Shopgirl) in email] The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are, can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall! Decaf! Cappuccino!