Lines From My Grandfather's Forehead
Encyclopedia
Lines From My Grandfather's Forehead, a comedy sketch show for radio
Radio
Radio is the transmission of signals through free space by modulation of electromagnetic waves with frequencies below those of visible light. Electromagnetic radiation travels by means of oscillating electromagnetic fields that pass through the air and the vacuum of space...

, was first broadcast on BBC Radio 4
BBC Radio 4
BBC Radio 4 is a British domestic radio station, operated and owned by the BBC, that broadcasts a wide variety of spoken-word programmes, including news, drama, comedy, science and history. It replaced the BBC Home Service in 1967. The station controller is currently Gwyneth Williams, and the...

 from 15 February 1971. Two series of eight episodes were broadcast, the second was transmitted from 21 July 1972. In addition, there were two "specials". A Christmas special, entitled 'Lines From My Grandfather Christmas's Forehead', was broadcast on 24 December 1971; and a compilation of selected items from past editions, under the title 'Just A Few Lines From My Grandfather's Forehead', was broadcast on 27 August 1977.

The show starred Ronnie Barker
Ronnie Barker
Ronald William George "Ronnie" Barker, OBE was a British actor, comedian, writer, critic, broadcaster and businessman...

 and featured Terence Brady and Pauline Yates
Pauline Yates
Pauline Yates is an English actress best known for playing Elizabeth Perrin in the BBC television sitcom The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin...

, with Gordon Langford
Gordon Langford
Gordon Langford is an English composer, arranger and performer. Although well known in the brass band community as a composer and arranger, he is less well known as a composer of orchestral music, despite winning an Ivor Novello award for his March from the Colour Suite in 1971.Born in Edgware,...

 at the piano
Piano
The piano is a musical instrument played by means of a keyboard. It is one of the most popular instruments in the world. Widely used in classical and jazz music for solo performances, ensemble use, chamber music and accompaniment, the piano is also very popular as an aid to composing and rehearsal...

. Some editions also featured guitarist Dick Abell.

Each programme was a sequence of comedy sketches
Sketch comedy
A sketch comedy consists of a series of short comedy scenes or vignettes, called "sketches," commonly between one and ten minutes long. Such sketches are performed by a group of comic actors or comedians, either on stage or through an audio and/or visual medium such as broadcasting...

, monologue
Monologue
In theatre, a monologue is a speech presented by a single character, most often to express their thoughts aloud, though sometimes also to directly address another character or the audience. Monologues are common across the range of dramatic media...

s and comic songs. The writers were credited on each recording but the items they wrote were not named, so identifying the author of a particular item is difficult. Among the writers was one Gerald Wiley
Ronnie Barker
Ronald William George "Ronnie" Barker, OBE was a British actor, comedian, writer, critic, broadcaster and businessman...

, which was a pseudonym
Pseudonym
A pseudonym is a name that a person assumes for a particular purpose and that differs from his or her original orthonym...

 used by Ronnie Barker to submit material without using his own name, so as to find out whether the producer genuinely thought his material was good enough to use - and much of it was.

The show's content is difficult to define. The wry humour was askance/off-the-wall/tangential, and certainly different from most comedy of the time. It was not even announced as a comedy, but as 'a sequential entertainment for radio'. The nearest relatives might be Monty Python
Monty Python
Monty Python was a British surreal comedy group who created their influential Monty Python's Flying Circus, a British television comedy sketch show that first aired on the BBC on 5 October 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series...

, or The Goons
The Goon Show
The Goon Show was a British radio comedy programme, originally produced and broadcast by the BBC Home Service from 1951 to 1960, with occasional repeats on the BBC Light Programme...

.

Items included:
  • Barker as a 17th century man with two heads
  • a couple talking about curtains
  • a pianist playing a difficult piece and failing at the last note or two
  • a sketch with Barker as an encyclopedia salesman in the Garden of Eden ('one bite and you're a PhD')
  • a sketch about a lodger and commercial traveller called Roger
  • a wistful little poem about the retirement of Mr Babbage (using rhymes ending in '-idge' throughout)
  • a spoof newspaper report about court proceedings, sending up the euphemistic language used in certain tabloids
  • a song with the first line "I took my love to Turnpike Lane"
  • a spoof of the Queen's Christmas Message, as written and delivered by a milkman
  • an elephant delivered as a Christmas present.
  • a summary of Hamlet
    Hamlet
    The Tragical History of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, or more simply Hamlet, is a tragedy by William Shakespeare, believed to have been written between 1599 and 1601...

    in verse, as follows:


In olden Scandinavia when standards of behaviour
Were rather lax and income tax was tuppence in the ducat
Denmark's democratic king one day became a static king
He went to rest, became nonest, in fact, he kicked the bucket

He had is seemed been victimised, the reason for his quick demise
Developed from a charming trick of Brother Claude, the thug
Who, while the King was sleeping sound, came silently a-creeping round
And dropped a deadly poison in the royal Danish lug

Then to the queen a flirty gal he whispered, 'Listen Gerty gal
Now I'm the king and everything we might as well be one
So, when we've had the funeral, or even rather sooneral
Oh Gert be mine' to which Gert said, 'It might be fun'

(much more all the way to...)

And while the bodies dropped around Horatio who'd popped around
To see the end and superintend came through the palace doorway
With Fortinbras and legions of hairy great Norwegions
Who trampled in with pomp and din and claimed the throne for Norway

The moral of the story boys is don't be death or glory boys
Don't try to rule or maybe you'll find you are apt to bungle
Don't bother with detection lads, just stick to introspection lads
Be kind be good and if you would, try not to stab your ungle.
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