Clark Griswold

• Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament.
• [singing] Oh the hills are alive with the sound of Griswold/this shit's been around for a very long time.

Dialogue

Stewardess: Can I get you anything to drink?

Clark Griswold: Honey? I guess I'll have a Coke.

Stewardess: Do you want that in the can?

Clark Griswold: No, I'll have it right here.

[In Germany; Clark peers down at a village in the hills and tears come to his eyes]

Clark Griswold: There it is, kids. My mother's land.

Rusty Griswold: Dad, Grandma's from Chicago.

Clark Griswold: Shut up, Russ.

[In England]

Ellen Griswold: Clark, you're on the wrong side of the road.

Clark Griswold: Yes I know, honey, I'm also on the wrong side of the car.

Clark Griswold: Aw, there's Buckingham Palace, kids, that's where the Queen lives and works.

Audrey Griswold: What does she do?

Clark Griswold: She queens. And she vacuums.

Ellen Griswold: Look back there!

Clark Griswold: Yeah, it's a hooker...

Ellen Griswold: Look who she's with!

[Clark looks back, Rusty is with the hooker]

Rusty Griswold: Who was it that said when in Rome do as the Romans do?

Clark Griswold: That was Rome not Paris. This is Paris and you're drunk.

[In England Rusty sees a man with a punk Mohawk haircut]

Rusty Griswold: That's it! That's what I want my hair to look like dad!

Clark Griswold: Oh Rusty you don't want to look like a rooster do you?

Clark Griswold: There's the left bank kids. I bet you can't guess what bank is on the right.

Rusty Griswold: The Bank of America.

[In Germany Clark is looking for their relatives house]

Clark Griswold: What are we looking for?

Audrey Griswold: Sechs Dad.

Clark Griswold: That'll do Audrey.

Rusty Griswold: Dad that's German for six.

Clark Griswold: Hello, my family and I were looking for sex.

German Neighbor: Schweinhund!

[Rusty and his California Girl join the rest of the family as they chase Ellen's kidnapper]

Clark Griswold: Get in.

Rusty Griswold: What Happened?

Audrey Griswold: Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped.

Ellen Griswold: Clark, why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?

Clark Griswold: Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds.

Bike Rider: It's just a flesh wound, honestly!