Directed by McG. Written by John August.

Dialogue

• Alex: Get off the babysitter. Daddy's home.

• Man in bar: What is an angel doing so far from heaven?
• Dylan: I'm no angel.

• Marshal Ray Carter: I didn't think you'd find me. How many men do you have?
• Alex: I've got two girlfriends in the bar.
• Marshal Carter: They have 50 armed men.
• Alex: I know. It hardly seems fair.

• Alex: Check it out. Brown shorts, red board, 11 o'clock. What do you think?
• Dylan: Yummy!
• Alex: That's what I thought. Case closed. Nat, move in. Dylan think's he's hot.
• Dylan: What do you mean?
• Alex: You always fall for the bad guy.
• Dylan: Well then, this guy must be really evil.

• Max: Okay, wait. Helen Zaas?
• Dylan: Yeah.
• Max: That's your name?
• Dylan: Yeah.
• Max: Helen Zaas. So where does that name come from originally? Is that ass-tralian?
• Dylan: Yeah.
• Natalie: Oh, my God, you must have been the butt of every joke.
• Alex: Did you drive an Ass-ton Martin?
• Natalie: Alex, we're being ass-inine.
• Dylan: Yes, yes you are.
• Alex: Don't worry, Dylan. We're still going to be your best butties.

• Seamus: You know I always liked it with the lights on.

• Natalie: You were the cock? I was the beaver. My God, what are the chances that we were both school mascots?

• Alex: I'm so sorry Daddy, that I didn't tell you. I didn't think you'd approve and I didn't wanna dissapoint you. I know how you wanted me to be a neurosurgeon. But I've discovered a whole new way to help people... that makes me feel so... alive.
• Mr. Munday: Whatever makes you happy.
• Alex: I am so relieved! It's been killing me, you not knowing all these years. I- Daddy... Natalie, Dylan and I are a team. And we just took on 12 sailors. You can't even imagine the positions we get ourselves into. Daddy, I wish you could watch us work. You'd be so proud. I'm gonna take a shower because I am covered in- Well, you can only imagine what. And then when I get back, I am gonna give you... a full blow-by-blow.
• Mr. Munday: Ferret?

• Madison: Why be an angel when I can play God?

• Natalie: Bosley. Plan B.
• Bosley: It's raining white women!

• Madison: Enjoy heaven
• Natalie: Go to hell.

• Madison: I was never good. I was GREAT.

Cast