My very wealthy uncle passed away and I was very fond of him. For years I helped him with gardening when he could not longer do it on his own. I drove him when he wanted to visit his family members and he could no longer drive. He never had no children and I always assumed he would remember me when he passed on.
After his death, I heard nothing for one full year and decided to contact my first cousin who was the executrix. I asked if I was remembered in the will. She never responded and told everyone that I had insulted her by asking this question.
My brother agrees with her and no longer speaks to me because she did not invite him to her daughter's wedding.

What I would like to know is if people agree that I was out of line asking this question of my cousin. I asked my attorney who deals with estate law and he said that people do this all the time. What do the etiquette experts think about this situation?

I am no expert in the field of wills and the proper ettiquette that one should manifest. However, I do have common sense and I am a do have a human body that is quite willing to assert it's arrogant and vain opinion especially when my spirit is quickened by emotional injustice such as is the case with your question. There is nothing wrong with having made the inquiry and I do not believe you deserve her scorn. However, I do have a piece of advice for you other than my vain and arrogant opinion. This comes from the source of all truth and it has taught me so much. The Holy bible says when you loan someone money without interest and you work out the details of when and how they will pay you back and from that point on you are not to ever remind the individual of the debt, never. If they forget their responsibilies well it not only shows that you were a poor judge of character but it also is far more of a painful conviction for the forgetful borrower. Did you really have to ask? Often the anticipation of the possibilty is of a greater reward than the truth. Patience and consideration of what she may be dealing with is another crucial aspect to strengthening your moral fiber. For example you said it was a large amount of money so one can well assume that she has had many people inquiring about the money. In fact she has probably been bombarded with inquiries and she may very well be tramatized at humanities greed. If you care about someone you would want to take these things into consideration so as not to make the pain of his death any more harder by working to quickly and ruthlessly acquaint her with the true selfish and rotteness of man. Perhaps, she was hoping you would be different then all the rest and thus she was dissapointed to realize you are as self consumed as the rest of us. Also, last but not least there is an executive whom I am presuming is her and she must by law distribute it accordingly so you would recieve what is your due and perhaps by asking her instead of trusting her and the process you directly implied she might decieve or not act honestly and fairly. We as people can only manifest two main actions and you cannot express both simulataneusly. I call it the give and the get. A person is either in the give or in the get. Granted all of humanity spends at least 97 percent in the get. What can I get? Am I Hungary, is there any money for me? Where is my shirt? When you talked to her you were in the get meaning you put you desires and curiosity before her. If she would have occupied your thoughts as much as the mystery of possible wealth than you would have been in the give and thus GOD would have been glorified and you would not be asking this question. Praise ELOHIM from Noah