Unrequited love
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pollym1

I'm afraid i may be coming from a different stand point to many who log on ..
My situation is this. I believe i'm not in love. I'm in a relationship with a brilliant guy who i yearn to fall in love with, and i lose sleep with the anxiety of not being. I'm fairly desperate because a pattern seems to be forming, as it's a similar situation i found myself in my most recent previous relationship. Only very recently has a kind of shock to the system taken place with me that i don't think my feelings will change. I am in no way getting any pleasure from this position emotionally, i'm more and more depressed and seeking help, mainly because of the repeat in my behaviour. He has expressed love for me, but, not being able to say it freely and happily back - is incredibly sad. I understand those of you who just say 'get out now', simple. But i'm afraid i don't find it simple. Being without him will still be the end of my world that i'm used to that i've been trying to embrace for the last 7 months. There have been long periods where i really relax. We get on very well, physically we have a great time. from the outside, everyone sees us having a lot of fun - i feel honestly that i can't cope with letting somebody down again after the last time.
Perhaps this will get an angry reaction, - i don't take a moment before entering into something and think 'how can i hurt someone now'. in the long run, i'm hurting myself a great deal. i truly want to feel settled and able to make someone else truly happy. This is probably defunct - am just writing after a particularly bad night. Anyone get me?
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replied to:  pollym1
silverlining
Replied to:  I'm afraid i may be coming from a different stand...
It sounds like you are suffering from some depression and anxiety concerns which will only be exacberated by your lack of sleep. Have you tried talking to this guy? You are sure that you're not in love with him or are you just unsure that you're unabale to love? I ask this because you say you want to make someone else truly happy and this implies that you are sure that you don't make him happy. Its is good that you are seeking help and I hope that this is working for you but it's a long process so don't give up.
If this guy is that great then he will be there for you and supportive of you so don't be afraid to tackle this with him. However if he's not that great or if it is just a case of he's not the right guy then he'll probably not be around for long anywaybut don't let this dishearten you. Healing yourself is a long road that many of us never try to walk down but you are at that crossroads and being brave enough to chose the difficult path. Remember it's never too late to start again and there's no road that we can't walk. Communication is the key and you sound like you have someone who having expressed love for you is willing to walk down that road with you. I just wish I had someone to hold my hand as walk down my difficult road. Best of luck
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