Ive always had a difficult time identifying with others emotions, most notably Sadness, Anger, Dispair, Loss, none of these things seem to effect me, or more accurately, they dont effect me like other people.

Its not that I dont care, its that I fail to see the logic in being upset about the unavoidable. Death, this is somthing we all will face, and no matter who it is, how much I cared for them, or know them, it is just another day. Injury, its somthing that happens, I dont see the sense in being emotional about it, every body gets hurt, we grow, we move on, this is life, I accept that, but apparently other people are quite effected by these things.

Fy fiance suffered a tragic loss, actually two, no more than a week apart from eachother. I wanted to be there for her, to help, but I just sempt to make things worse as it was apparent I didnt understand her grief, and it hurt her even worse to see me so unaffected by somthing that was obviousely so painful for her.

Most recently, I was with my recent amputee mother, and she fell on her amputated limb. She lay on the ground in pain, and I was there to help her, I got her off of the ground and to the hospital, I did what made sense, but doesnt it make sense that I should have been upset to see her in pain, or that it should have been more concerned, something? No, I just got her off the ground and sent her to the hospital, thinking all the time that she wouldnt have fallen if she would have listened to me, and not been up doing things I told her not to.

I care for these people, I have genuine concern for thier welfare, I love my fiance, I am often very happy just to see her, and enjoy conversations with her, but when bad things happen, I cant be there for her in the ways that she needs me to be. That really is not very fair to her.

Does anyone deal with these feelings, or lack there of, the closest I can get to defineing it is Apathy. How are you sustaining day to day life without feeling, being so uneffected? How do you deal with being stared down at funerals, like your a bad person? How are you there for the people you care about, and be competant in attending to thier needs when sometimes thier needs seem illogical? How do you support those around you in pain. I am haveing great difficulty in this, and do not wish to alienate the people I care about. I appreciate thier effections, and would like to beable to comfort them when they need it. Im not a bad person... just defective, or not by my logic.

-Bull

Some of the things you mentioned are clear symptoms depression. People often view depression as simply "feeling miserable" - but it can often manifest itself as an emotional numbness. There are many effective treatments for depression so I suggest you investigate this.

If depression is not the culprit, then there is really one option: learn to fake it. Even naturally social people who have a healthy dose of empathy can effortlessly display an interest in others - even when it is not genuine. For some of us, this does not come naturally. It's an important skill that must be acquired.

I have spoken to someone about Depression in the past, but trueth be told, Im not depressed, and they found the same. Im actually a very energetic, upbeat person. I walk 8-12 miles a day, Ive got dogs and enjoy thier company, fishing, many things I enjoy, just some things I dont feel one way or another about.

As for the other option. I do not lie, as a rule, not to others, and not to myself, its not condusive to healthy liveing. But thank you for the insights.

Bull get a grip. Har Har just kidding.

What else about you bull man, finish painting the self
portrait, Your a fisher man Im guessing fresh water.
Spend a lot of time at it. You a loner ,one man team.

Now this is the hard one,when you were growing up how
did you react toward family members and the other say
school children,play mates, and For my own personal curiosity in which country.